What’s your parenting style? Are you a lawnmower?

If you could describe your parenting as a picture, what would it be? A helicopter always circling around; a bulldozer flattening everything in your path; a gardener, carefully nurturing tender stems? 

A few years ago, an argument brewed in the US after teachers described parents as lawnmowers – mowing down any possible problems that their child might face. Like a lawnmower which clears everything in its way – weeds, thistles, dandelions – to make a straight path, so a parent makes sure that their child can access every possible advantage in life. 

Perhaps you can imagine the parent whose child is given some tricky homework. Instead of waiting until their child struggled and then giving them time to resolve their struggles themselves, they step in and finish their child’s homework for them. Or they work hard to set up work experience for their child or push for their child to be given a job at a certain company. Or they make sure that they are that kind of parent when the football team is chosen! 

As I reflected on my own parenting, I realised that I could see this desire in me – no-one wants to see their child struggle or face difficulty, but (to mix metaphors) if a tree experiences no wind, then it never grows to be strong. I know as a parent that its good for my child to face challenges until they find a way through them, but it can be so hard to watch. Our hearts want to protect our children, but our heads say that they need to learn.