Why parents shouldn’t give up on faith at home

Can you recall any ‘faith at home’ moments from when you were a child? Did you say grace before a meal, listen to Jesus-songs in the car or read with a grown-up from a children’s Bible?

When I was very young, 5 or 6 years old, my dad would teach me to memorize simple Bible verses. I kind of liked it. Then he stopped because I once hid behind the sofa and refused to come out. Perhaps I was experiencing a kind of spiritual warfare or was it simply a childish mood swing? Whatever it was, I remember thinking “don’t give up on me, just keep trying. I do want to join in, but something I can’t explain is stopping me.”

When my kids were little, any kind of ‘Faith at Home’ activity just seemed like one more chore for a harassed parent to add to their endless ‘to do’ list

Fast forward twenty-odd years and I was the one with two small children and very little time to myself. I used to love hanging out the laundry as it was the only time I got to pray and worship Jesus without children distracting me.

When my kids were little, any kind of ‘Faith at Home’ activity just seemed like one more chore for a harassed parent to add to their endless ‘to do’ list; until the day my friend Ange gave me a set of ‘Jesus cards’ for Christmas. Ange had an intimate, deep relationship with her father God and especially missed her quiet times once she started a family. Her solution changed my life.

She told me that she tried to find ways that she and her children could spend time with God together. It wasn’t a chore to her, it was life. She embraced the stage of life she was in and found a way for it to enhance her relationship with God, rather than put it on a backburner for a day when she had more time.

Every family is different but there are so many ways you can demonstrate the value you place on an active faith in Jesus on a regular basis

She would use these simple cards to share a story about Jesus – there were actions for the kids to act out on the card and a simple prayer at the end. Then, she said, they’d take turns to choose a song about Jesus and even though it was a kid’s song, she’d worship God with the same enthusiasm as the kids. She encouraged me to do the same.

I tried a few times to use the cards but, in the end, I found a different way that worked better for our family – I found an activity-devotion book for kids that we would read and complete after our bedtime story.

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Those Jesus-cards found a new life, ten years later, when Covid struck and we needed something for ‘church at home.’ Ange’s simple model became our lifeline, and we’d spend Sunday mornings choosing worship songs on YouTube - from ‘Jesus you’re my superhero’ to ‘Amen’ by For King and Country. Even if the kids didn’t sing along or do all the actions, the simple fact that they chose the song meant something.

For me, Covid gave me the chance to put some ‘faith at home’ habits into place that I’d always wanted but previously struggled with consistency. Covid lasted so long that those habits have stuck!

Some things work better for one kid than another, some things work for a while but then it becomes stale so we change tack

Every family is different but there are so many ways you can demonstrate the value you place on an active faith in Jesus on a regular basis: children’s devotional books, Christian apps (there are so many for all ages), YouTube songs and videos (or use Minno or Yippee to avoid YouTube), simply reading the Bible or praying together ad hoc or at regular times in the day or once a week; you can set memory verse challenges or post them round your house; if you like books you can read fictional story books like ‘Pilgrim’s Progress’ or anything from Dernier Publishing; or try dinner table talk cards like the ones from Ugly Duckling Company; If you like movies there are some great Christian movies and TV shows now that can start a great conversations.

Some things work better for one kid than another, some things work for a while but then it becomes stale so we change tack. Sometimes the kids engage, sometimes they don’t, sometimes I’m frustrated at their stinking attitude, sometimes I’m glowing at a thoughtful prayer they pray. It’s a really mixed bag. But instead of trying to find the ‘One thing’ that will transform our lives, I try to embrace the mess because I am determined not to give up.

Read more:

Raising spiritually wise kids means encouraging discernment not just obedience 

Why Christian parents should not rush to call misbehaviour sin

How can Christian parents break down barriers to worship for children and teens?

It is risky, this faith at home business. We don’t want to feel like a failure or make our kids hate us - or hate God - or have to put up with the resistance again and again and again. We’re also making ourselves incredibly vulnerable and risking rejection of the faith we hold so dear. But I believe it’s worth the risk.

Somewhere deep down, even on their bad days and sad days, I believe my kids value these moments of worship or prayer or devotion together or, at the very least, I believe they will value them one day. I’m encouraged by the testimonies of so many adults who come back to their childhood faith and attribute it to a praying grandparent, godparent or carer who never gave up on them.

The six-year-old me couldn’t explain why she was hiding behind the sofa instead of learning her memory verses, but she knew she wanted her dad to try again, to not give up. There is a spiritual battle for our children, and it is not for them to recognise that and overcome it when they’re so young – it’s for us as parents and carers to fight for them. Even if fighting means just trying again. It’s ok if you don’t feel like you ever ‘do it right’ or land on the perfect rhythm, because this is your time as well as their time and it is well worth the risk.