Jenny Sanders shows why Christian parents must equip their children and young people to test every “word from God” against Scripture and use healthy critical thinking
“God’s told me I’m going to marry you,” said a man to me many years ago – a man who is not now my husband!
I was nineteen years old; he was a student from a Bible college on a placement at the Christian guest house where I was working the summer season before returning to studies.
I was secure enough in God to know that this wasn’t a path I needed to pursue
I could have felt intimidated; I could have felt pressurised. I could have exited in a state of distress; I could have taken offence; I could have mocked his (probably) good intentions; I could have dismissed his vulnerability with a cutting verbal sideswipe or, I could have submitted to the ‘word from God’, in which case my life would look very different now! I remember being surprised, but I knew God hadn’t spoken to me about it! Fortunately, I was secure enough in God to know that this wasn’t a path I needed to pursue; I hope I was able to let him down gently without destroying him.
What the incident vividly illustrates is that authentic relationship with God and weighing ‘words’ that are presented to us – even those couched in spiritual language – is crucially important.
Are we teaching our children the discernment needed so that they are not thrown off course by anything that purports to be prophetic?
How can we teach our children to hear God, think for themselves and avoid being swept along with popular thinking which is not necessarily godly or healthy?
Over the years, my (actual) husband (of almost forty years) and I have counselled people who got married on the basis of ‘a word’ they took as an instruction and consequently endured years of conflict and unhappiness. These marriage proposals were not met with any serious level of reflection, weighing or counsel from godly friends, who would’ve quickly seen them as problematic.
Sadly, some people have been bullied into actions or relational paths that came from those they respected or admired but who were not hearing accurately from God; maybe they were projecting their own benevolent imagination or were simply out of step with God.
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It’s not just about marriage proposals either. In the light of recent revelations of church abuse, church communities and families need to reflect on this. How can we teach our children to hear God, think for themselves and avoid being swept along with popular thinking which is not necessarily godly or healthy?
Developing godly critical thinking
Two of my children had compulsory lessons in critical thinking in years 12 and 13, which I found reassuring. Teachers created sessions to encourage and focus on analysis; unpicking arguments; constructing a thesis and bringing an opposite point of view (regardless of personal persuasion) in order to recognise some of the methods involved. They included problem-solving and applying acquired knowledge to reality in various contexts.
A popular tool for developing quality thinking is called Bloom’s Taxonomy of Learning. It’s often illustrated by a layered triangle, the foundation of which is labelled ‘Knowledge’. Moving up the triangle we meet Understanding, Application, Analysis and Synthesis, topped by Evaluation.
One way of navigating this model is to use open-ended questions. The ‘why’, ‘how’, and ‘what if’ questions force us to engage our brains to process, weighing and choosing which bits of acquired knowledge we take on board.
Keeping our children safe while leading them to maturity includes teaching and training in how to discern God’s voice
What might this look like in terms of following Jesus? Is there such a thing as sanctified critical thinking when it comes to life decisions which may be influenced by perceived spiritual leaders? In a Bible-based taxonomy, surely ‘the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom’ (Proverbs 9:10) is both the start and end goal.
We’ve all heard stories of the fictional pastor who ran off with the church secretary and when confronted said, ‘God told me to.’ Zero discernment is required to see this is nonsense because it doesn’t stand up to scrutiny in the light of biblical teaching.
However, what if an impressionable individual whose grasp of Scripture is poor, is given a directive from someone in the pulpit which they’re not comfortable with but, perhaps because it was given in public, they feel bullied into a position that never previously occurred to them? If the ‘word’ comes from someone recognised by leaders as ‘prophetic’, does it make a difference to the process or the outcome?
Read more:
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How can Christian parents break down barriers to worship for children and teens?
As Christian parents how can we help keep our daughters safe in an unsafe world?
Keeping our children safe while leading them to maturity includes teaching and training in how to discern God’s voice, how and when to bring ‘a word’ including having witnesses – friends who know the individual well can instinctively recognise whether the word is on track – and how to follow through. Questions like, ‘Does this make sense?’; ‘Is this resonating with you?’ are helpful, as are framing our words in ‘When I was praying I got the impression that…’ or, ‘I think God is saying…’ rather than simply, ‘Thus says the Lord’ statements.
The first question must always be whether the ‘word’ lines up with Scripture. We need to search, teach and know our Bibles so we can recognise what’s unbiblical. Is the ‘word’ delivered with the recognisable heart of God? Does it seek to encourage or build up an individual?
listen, pray, filter, ponder, and weigh/test everything and don’t kiss your brain, ‘Goodbye
Prophecy wasn’t instituted as a sanctified horoscope or divine wishful thinking. It shouldn’t be done off in corners. Witnesses/friends should always be part of the process of weighing and considering what’s been presented. If the content is inherently wrong or doesn’t connect with the individual, they need the confidence to disregard it. Will the person delivering it apologise and be rebuked? When, where and by whom?
Remember, no one tries to forge seven pound notes. It’s pointless: they don’t exist. Because something is counterfeit or even a bit ‘off’ we shouldn’t dismiss prophecy all together (1 Corinthians 14:39). Mistakes must be admitted; going beyond what God has actually said avoided and repented of where that’s happened. Throwing out the baby with the bath water cheats us out of gifts and insights that God generously, lovingly, graciously gives His people.
‘The letter kills but the spirit brings life’ (2 Corinthians 3:6). We need the Holy Spirit to breathe into us and into Scripture to bring it alive. Don’t be robbed of what God has in mind for you. But listen, pray, filter, ponder, and weigh/test everything (1 Thessalonians 5:20) and don’t kiss your brain, ‘Goodbye.’
