As Christian parents how can we help keep our daughters safe in an unsafe world?

This article contains references to sexual violence against women.

Northamptonshire police force are currently offering the opportunity for women over the age of 18 to ‘walk and talk’ for 30 minutes with a police officer who will listen to their concerns about personal safety on five specific dates (28 February, 12 and 27 March, and 7 and 24 April). It’s a development from a 2021 initiative from London’s Metropolitan Police force after Sarah Everard was kidnapped and killed on Clapham Common by an off duty police officer.

Men seldom have to think about taking precautions when they’re out. Mothers will be more aware about some of the challenges of being female in today’s world. For our daughters, the world is vastly different from the one we grew up in.

Each of my girls has endured verbally and physically aggressive encounters with violent men on the street which have left them hyper-vigilant

Need we remind ourselves that females are inherently valuable to God? Of course, men carry value too, but creation was not completed until God created a woman. Shaping Eve completed His work; she was no afterthought, after creating Eve ‘God saw all that he had made, and it was very good’ (Genesis 1:31).

Both male and female are made in God’s image. We’re not the same; neither gender is dispensable. We complement one another, naturally expressing different characteristics of God. Only together do we rightly reflect and represent Him.

Parents must work together to protect, train and instruct children

Biblical instructions to men, though specifically towards wives in Ephesians 5:25–29 and 1 Peter 4:7, include protecting and cherishing. Loving ‘just as Christ loved the church’ means sacrificially, consistently and unfailingly, while always seeking the good of the other. Fathers have a unique place in the lives of daughters to do likewise. Parents must work together to protect, train and instruct children so they’ll grow to maturity as independent and interdependent young people and adults.

What does that mean for our girls’ safety?

Let me say two things at this point:

1. I have three adult daughters of my own, and a son. Each of my girls has endured verbally and physically aggressive encounters with violent men on the street which have left them super-aware and hyper-vigilant when they are out.
2. However careful we are, whatever household rules and guidelines we have put in place, we cannot wrap our children in cotton wool forever, if at all. We want to preserve their innocence, but we also live in a broken world of broken people where bad things happen despite our best intentions and efforts and that won’t completely end until Jesus returns. We’re all trusting God as we navigate the perils of parenting, whatever stage and age our children currently are.

Being a parent is the toughest job out there, demanding 24/7 commitment. We’re neither omnicompetent nor omnipresent and the sad fact is that girls bear the brunt of unsolicited comments, sexual innuendo, lingering glances, whistles and catcalls even as they travel to school. Using public transport exposes them to further indignities from abusers who can rub up against them, make physical contact or capture their images on phones.

While our girls live under our roofs, we can discuss, plan and strategise the best ways to keep them from harm without fearmongering

All that before they even arrive at school. Whether phones are banned or limited at your child’s school, the stories of cyber bullying, sexting and circulation of unhelpful images abound. Taken a step further, the sad truth is that 60% of rapes are committed by someone the victim knows.

While our girls live under our roofs, we can discuss, plan and strategise the best ways to keep them from harm without fearmongering. We have much more authority over this before they leave home, at which point our influence inevitably decreases. Helping them understand how to make good choices now is our responsibility and privilege. So, what strategies can we use to keep our girls safe and to ensure our daughters arrive home safely?

Tips for our younger daughters:

• Choose a seat with your back to the wall preferably near an adult female.
• Check where the exits are.
• Sleepover invitations need checking. Who else will be there? Do you know the adult(s) involved? Communicate with them. If in doubt, decline.
• Have a whistle on your keyring.
• Disconnect headphones when walking.
• Download the ‘Find my Phone’ app and share it with friends and family.
• Ensure your phone is charged.
• Walk with friends when you can and keep together in well-lit areas.
• Wear shoes you can run in.
• Keep to family curfews
• If you think you’re being followed walk past your house and double back.

Tips for our older teenagers and students:

• Don’t leave drinks unattended when you’re out.
• Carry your keys poised between your fingers.
• Use an Uber.
• Always sit behind the Uber driver so he can’t reach you.
• Invest in a rape alarm/deep heat spray (both legal).
• Stay on the phone with a friend all the way home.
• The family could invest in a video doorbell if necessary, so you can see who’s there and if they return repeatedly.
• Don’t turn all the lights on immediately you get home so you don’t alert a stalker to which house/flat is yours.
• Invoke Clare’s Law (https://clares-law.com/ ) if you need to check out whether a potential partner has a criminal record or has been prosecuted for domestic violence.
• Make use of social media groups which flag criminal/predatory men (https://www.theguardian.com/society/2025/feb/01/are-we-dating-the-same-guy-women-turn-to-facebook-to-uncover-cheating-and-violence).

Read more:

How Christian parents can teach their children about personal safety

5 ways Christian parents can prevent their children from being groomed

Tips for our sons:

• Cross over, slow down or speed up when necessary so you’re not walking behind a girl/woman on their own, keep your hands out of your pockets and if you’re wearing a hoodie, keep the hood down.
• Always give girls physical space.
• Never stare.
• Don’t try to engage in conversation with a girl on her own.
• Avoid using a lift if there’s only a single woman in it; take the stairs.
• Be aware of what others are doing or saying to a female.
• Step in to protect a girl if the situation warrants it.

If you have already experienced pain in your family because of something that’s happened to one of your girls, I urge you to get the help you need (godly counsel included). Don’t rush the process; well-meaning friends can push us into an emotional ‘fix’ before God has done the necessary healing work. That takes time. Know that forgiveness isn’t a quick cure-all but a process that has to be revised frequently. Above all, keep taking your daughter and her trauma to God as well as keeping your own spiritual walk sharp. It’s important to avoid self-flagellation and the ‘would-of-should-of-could-of’ scenarios that torment and taunt, pointing to our failure.

However, for women who often feel they’re not being taken seriously when they raise concerns, perhaps this police initiative will help.