How Christian parents can teach their children about personal safety

As Christian parents, we long to raise children who are both kind-hearted and confident—children who grow in wisdom, knowing they are deeply loved by God and equipped to live safely in the world. Jesus welcomed children with open arms, treating them with dignity and respect (Matthew 19:14), and warned strongly against those who would harm them (Matthew 18:6). That same heart of care must guide how we teach our children about personal safety.

Evidence children that are abused, tend to be abused by someone they know. We want our children to be free to build trusting relationships with those who care for them, but we also need them to be equipped to stay safe in those relationships.

So how can we, as faith-filled parents, offer our children the tools they need —without filling them with fear or mistrust? This article offers simple, age-appropriate ways to build confidence and awareness, grounded in the biblical values we hold dear.

Starting early

Many of us grew up with the idea that danger comes from strangers. However, most abuse is committed by someone the child knows—family members, neighbours, babysitters, and even those in positions of trust like church leaders or teachers. While teaching caution with strangers has its place, it’s not enough. From a young age, children need to be equipped with the skills to protect themselves in all contexts, including from those they may already know and trust.

It might feel a bit overwhelming, but remember teaching children about personal safety is an ongoing conversation, not a one-time talk

Starting to teach personal safety early in life helps make the conversation normal in your household. Personal safety skills can be introduced as naturally as teaching children to brush their teeth or cross the road. Even toddlers can begin to learn about boundaries and bodily autonomy. The key is balance. We don’t want to frighten children, but rather to help them grow in confidence and understanding.

Using simple language and gentle conversations, we can help children:

• Recognise appropriate and inappropriate behaviour
• Say “no” to unwanted touch
• Understand the difference between secrets and surprises
• Know when and how to seek help from a trusted adult

Affirming their value

Children with strong self-esteem are more likely to speak out if something is wrong. As Christian parents, we’re called to nurture our children with unconditional love, just as God loves us.

Let them know they are cherished, valued, and made in the image of God. Involve them in everyday decisions, celebrate their uniqueness, and reinforce their worth through loving, respectful touch and affirming words.

Helping children express feelings

Children need to know that all feelings—happy, sad, scared, angry—are okay to talk about. Create a home environment where it’s safe for them to share openly. This teaches them that if something or someone is making them uncomfortable, they know they can always come to you.

Practising assertiveness

Some parents worry that encouraging a child to say “no” might promote disobedience. But in fact, overly compliant children are usually more vulnerable to abuse. Teaching respectful assertiveness is not about undermining authority, but helping children stand up for what’s right and safe. Saying “no” to something that feels wrong is a vital skill.

Our words and actions can affirm our children’s right to feel safe. Encourage them to speak up if something doesn’t feel right—whether that’s a hug they don’t want or a secret that makes them feel uneasy.

Help your child practise saying “no” in everyday situations, such as when asked to lie or do something they know is wrong. A helpful phrase they can remember is: “No! Go! Yell! Tell!”—a simple, memorable way to respond to unsafe situations.

Read more:

A Christian parent’s guide to mandatory reporting: What’s going on and why it matters

5 ways Christian parents can prevent their children from being groomed

Bodies and touch

Let your child know that their body belongs to them, and no one has the right to touch their private parts (the areas covered by swimwear) except for necessary reasons—like a parent helping with a bath or a doctor’s examination (but only with a parent present).

Resources such as Thirtyone:eight’s Roarry can help start this conversation in a positive, reassuring way. They encourage children to ‘raise their roar’ and speak up when something doesn’t feel right. The NSPCC’s PANTS campaign is also helpful and age-appropriate.

Explain that it’s normal for children to be curious about their bodies, but this should happen in private spaces like the bathroom or bedroom. Disabled children, who may need extra help with personal care, still deserve dignity and clearly defined boundaries.

Touch is a common way to express affection, but it can also be confusing. Help your child understand the difference between touches that feel good and safe—like hugs they welcome—and those that hurt or make them uncomfortable. Let them know it’s always okay to say “no” to unwanted touch, even something seemingly harmless like tickling.

Make it clear that private parts are “no-go” areas for others, aside from the few, clearly explained exceptions. If something makes your child uneasy, even if it isn’t abusive, reassure them that it’s okay to speak up.

Secrets vs surprises

There is a big difference between keeping a surprise and keeping a secret. Children should be taught that while surprises, such as a birthday gift, are fun, secrets that involve harm, fear or confusion are never okay. Encourage them to tell you or another safe adult if something is worrying them.

If they’re not ready to talk to you, make sure they know who else they can turn to—whether that’s a teacher, church leader or family friend. And let them know that if the first person doesn’t listen, they should keep telling until someone does.

Childcare considerations

When choosing someone to care for your child, always ensure they’re trustworthy. If it is a professional setting, such as child minding, or church, ask to see their safeguarding policy and check they have completed a criminal background check. The government have also published some guidance on using after school clubs, tuition or community groups.

Whether it’s a formal or informal arrangement, set clear rules and discuss them openly in front of your child, so expectations are transparent. If your child expresses discomfort about someone, for example, a babysitter, don’t ignore it—listen and take it seriously.

Remember…

It might feel a bit overwhelming, but remember teaching children about personal safety is an ongoing conversation, not a one-time talk. As a parent, your love, attentiveness, and willingness to engage in these topics already go a long way. Start small, keep the dialogue open, and trust that God is with you as you guide your child with wisdom and grace. If you ever feel unsure or need support, organisations like the NSPCC have a helpline, and you can also access help and advice at Thirtyoneeight.org