Safeguarding and intergenerational relationships: Helping Christian parents explore the tension

You are running your first-ever Messy Church session. After months of planning, training the team, advertising the date, and talking to everyone you know about coming along to the launch, people start to arrive, and your church hall is now looking full. You are busy welcoming people and ensuring that your team has everything they need when you notice that your welcome desk team member is waving you over. You weave your way across the room to check that they are okay.

‘What’s up?’ you ask.

‘Well, we’ve had 20 families come in and register with us, which is so good. But we’ve also just had a lone person ask if they can join in. What do I do?’

What would you do?

As a Messy Church trainer, it’s a question I’m often asked. Do we admit single people without children to Messy Church? How do we balance being intentionally intergenerational whilst ensuring that whatever activities are provided in church find the balance between healthy relational connection and appropriate safeguarding procedures?

I always start with this question: What is family? It’s an ever-changing answer that is continually developing and redefining itself. Our first instinct might be the traditional model of family—two parents and children. But we know that over the past couple of decades, the traditional model has drastically changed. We now have step-parents, solo parents, foster and adoptive parents and grandparent-led families. These family structures are based on love, care, and mutual support—not biology alone.