Halloween can catch Christian parents off guard — not because of the sweets and spooky decorations, but because of the deeper questions it raises. Becky Sedgwick shares five things she wishes she’d known before that conversation began with her daughter.
When I was little, Halloween wasn’t a “thing”. We got excited about Bonfire night, but other than being vaguely aware that Americans trick-or-treated every 31 October, I had no idea about Halloween at all.
This meant I wasn’t prepared at all for facing Halloween as a parent.
I vividly remember going into town one autumn afternoon with my three-year-old daughter and suddenly seeing Halloween everywhere. The supermarket had spooky ghosts hanging from the ceiling. Blood-splattered costumes were nestled next to fairy outfits in the local discount store. The town council were advertising a free family Halloween event in the local park. Even the sweets we normally buy were mysteriously evolved into pumpkins and witches’ hats.
And this sent me into a spin.
I don’t know how to walk her through this stuff.
The thing was, for me, Halloween seemed to be a poorly disguised playground for the devil. I was scared by the responsibility of helping my daughter understand who the devil was and helping her deal with it healthily.
It turned out that, in my bumbling way, I managed to do that. But here are five things I wish I’d thought through then…
1. If kids know about God, they need to know about the devil
Just as you can’t tell a great story without including the villain who opposes the hero – think Simba and Scar, Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader, Aslan and the White Witch – you can’t tell the story of God without including the story of the devil.
The whole story of Christianity – how God’s wonderful world was damaged by sin, but God’s love and his sacrifice on the cross changes all that – only makes sense if you know about the devil: who he is, what he does, and how God deals with him.
2. If not you, then who?
Like many things in life, if you don’t explain who the devil is, then your kids will find out from somewhere else.
A pop song. Social media. Netflix. Chatter in the playground. Something on the news.
And the version they hear may be very different from the one you want them to understand.
Even if kids read their Bible and go to church regularly, they may not get a full picture of who the devil is and what he does. You can help them understand the truth that the Bible tells us. This doesn’t mean you have to have a degree in theology – share what you know, explore what the Bible says with them and don’t be afraid to ask others for help.
3. He is a defeated enemy
It’s easy to think of God and the devil as equal but opposite opponents, pitched against each other for all time. But the Bible is clear: they are in no way even close to being equal.
The truth is that God is the all-powerful, everlasting Creator; the devil is the defeated creature who will, one day, be destroyed for ever.
That’s an important thing for our children to know. They need to know that, although the devil can scare us, we are protected by the name of Jesus through the cross. Just as Jesus was able to stand up to the devil, so can we because Jesus has passed on to Christians His power and authority.
You might have stories about times you’ve confronted evil or needed to use the armour of God – share these with your kids.
And God doesn’t leave us unprotected in the face of the devil. Knowing the truth about God’s presence, love and power shows kids why they don’t need to fear him. The armour of God – truth, righteousness, peace, faith, salvation and God’s word – will help them stand firm when faced with evil and the devil’s works. You might have stories about times you’ve confronted evil or needed to use the armour of God – share these with your kids. These little glimpses into your experience will give them confidence and help them understand what they can do.
4. It’s not a massive deal
It can be easy to overreact, as I did, to the idea of the devil. CS Lewis said this in the preface to his masterpiece The Screwtape Letters (Collins):
”There are two equal and opposite errors into which our race can fall about the devils. One is the disbelieve in their existence. The other is to believe, and to feel an excessive and unhealthy interest in them.”
It’s important for your child to know what the Bible teaches about the devil. It is part of the story the Bible tells, but it is not the most important part. The focus of the Christian story is not the devil. It’s Jesus.
I simply needed to help her understand who God is, who Jesus is, and that God is bigger than anything that might frighten her.
5. Be led by your kids
You might, like I did, realise you need to talk to your kid about the devil. Maybe they have come across him in a movie. Maybe they’ve asked a question. Maybe you just sense it’s time. And then you might find yourself asking how?
It’s a bit like the “Where did I come from?” question. There are a whole bundle of answers to the “How”. But you are the best judge of what your kid needs to know at that moment, and what can wait. What you say will depend on their personality, their age and your own views. It will also depend on how they’re feeling. Is this just a theoretical question for them or have they seen or heard something that’s scared them? And try to avoid a quick answer – a conversation is far more powerful. Ask them what they think, or if they have a particular question. Share your views and experiences as together you figure it out.
Perhaps, instead of worrying about how I would explain the devil to my daughter, I should have realised this:
I didn’t need to give her something to be afraid of. I simply needed to help her understand who God is, who Jesus is, and that God is bigger than anything that might frighten her.
And maybe that’s the best place to start.
