Big changes don’t have to be overwhelming. Becky Sedgwick from Parenting for Faith says that parents can process their own emotions with God, support their children spiritually, and model how to find comfort in His presence
September is looming large and your child is soon starting or changing school. Gone are the routines, environment and expectations you’re used to. Lots of new things on the way. “All change!”
In this lull between the old and new, it’s an ideal opportunity to spend a little time preparing yourself and your child – and give God space to get involved too.
Preparing yourself
One of the things about parenting is that once you start, you’re on that journey whether you like it or not! At the moment you might feel like you’re slowly climbing up that steep slope to the top of the rollercoaster, already anticipating the scary plunge into September.
If your kid is starting or changing school, it can feel very big. You might be wondering why it feels so big – after - after all your 4-year-old has been in nursery, or your 11-year-old has already done 7 years of school. I wonder if it’s because these are milestones. And milestones are significant. They remind you of your own experiences; they point to the new; they speak of the unknown.
September changes might feel big – but it’s all part of the joy of parenting
So, this summer, it’s worth grabbing an hour or so to yourself in between play dates and new shoe buying to process this next milestone with God. Here are some ideas for what this might look like:
- There’s no emotional road map for these sorts of transitions. You might be feeling excited, anxious, unsettled, or apprehensive. You might find you’re fearful for your kid in this new environment or are reliving memories of your own experiences at school. Take it all to God. Why am I feeling like this? What’s disturbing me? What do you have to say? Give him time and space and see what happens.
- You might find that you’re grieving as well as looking forward: grieving for the loss of your little one’s babyhood, or your kid’s childhood. You’ll see a lot of change in them in the next few months. Grieving is OK, so let yourself. Tell God about it and catch his answers back as you process this together.
- Ask God for what you need to help you transition well. We’re not meant to do the hard stuff alone. Recruit people to pray with you or for you. If the first day will be tricky is there someone you could meet for coffee or call on the way to work for a virtual hug?
Preparing your child
28 years ago I sent my nervous daughter off to school in her brand-new uniform. Worried about how she’d cope, I stuck a little card in her pocket as she left the door. It had a smiley face on it and said ‘Jesus loves you’. ‘Don’t forget, I said, ‘Jesus is at school too’.
Read more:
How Christian parents can prepare their kids for a new start this September
I’ve no idea if that made any difference to her. Looking back, I wish I’d known how to help her prepare for school spiritually as well as practically. My heart was that she’d know God there and more importantly how to connect with him wherever and whenever she wanted – but I didn’t have the language or the skills to do so.
This is what I wish I’d done then:
- Talked about God and school before she got there. The holidays are a great time to set aside time to chat about your child’s new school. As well as chatting about how they’re feeling, what questions they have or what they are worried about, remind them that God is just as interested as you are. You could encourage them to chat to God too – some of these prompts might be helpful:
- Tell God what you’ll miss most about your old school or nursery.
- Share with Him what you’re most excited and most worried about for your first day at your new school.
- Ask him for an idea of what to do if you’re feeling alone or not sure what to do.
- Ask him if there’s anyone at your new school he wants you to especially look out for.
- Helped her know that God will be there too. You might want to chat about Joshua’s big change in Joshua chapter 1. He was going into a new place with new responsibilities. How would he have felt? What helped? What did God want him to remember? Simply this: ‘I will be with you’. You could also create windows, little glimpses, of your experiences of God at school – or what you wish you’d known about God then.
- Helped her know how to connect with God at school. Kids might be used to praying at home, but it’s good to reinforce that they can chat with God at school too. You could brainstorm what that might look like: taking a moment in the loo to chat to him, praying silently in your head, or just asking quickly to know he’s there when you’re worried. Remind them too that God chats back – it might be a word in your head, or simply a feeling of peace or something you notice. Creating windows into how you chat and catch with God, or sharing stories of times you reached out to God for help in a new or unfamiliar setting will give your child ideas for how and when they might do that too.
September changes might feel big – but it’s all part of the joy of parenting. The best thing? God’s there too.
