Kate Orson is convinced that lying to our children about Father Christmas undermines faith in God
For an alternative view see here.
When my daughter was a toddler, I was a non-believer who’d just trained to be a parent coach. I remember reading online in some gentle parenting groups about how some parents were not doing Santa because it’s lying to our children and breeds mistrust.
I remember mentioning it to my husband and asking what he thought about it. He was against the idea as he saw Santa as a way of feeding the imagination and bringing magic into childhood. So, we introduced the idea of Santa Claus, and I didn’t think much more about it, until, nearly a decade later when I became a Christian.
Is it a ‘good lie’ because it’s a lie that comes ladened with gifts, with fantasy and joy? I don’t think so
For those intervening years I thought that the worst part of Santa was the way children are manipulated into good behaviour or ‘Santa won’t come.’ I’d read research on rewards, and how they aren’t the best way to instil good behaviour as they destroy intrinsic motivation. So, our Santa wasn’t one who provided presents in return for good behaviour, and I was always quick to debunk this idea when we came across it in the books or stories I read with my daughter.
When I became a Christian when my daughter was aged 10 I quickly realised our mistake. We had lied to her, breaking one of God’s commandments. Is it a ‘good lie’ because it’s a lie that comes ladened with gifts, with fantasy and joy? I don’t think so.
Nowhere in the Bible does it say that some lies are okay if they are done in the name of being ‘kind’ and ‘loving’ to our children
I think if we as Christians try to justify this lie, then we are using worldly wisdom, not biblical thinking. Nowhere in the Bible does it say that some lies are okay if they are done in the name of being ‘kind’ and ‘loving’ to our children. After all we are meant to ‘lean not on our own understanding.’ (Proverbs 3:5)
I think the lie is more dangerous than it first appears. When children grow older and realise that Santa Claus isn’t real, they may start questioning God as well. After all, if Santa Claus and his superhuman ability to deliver presents in one night, turns out to be just mum and dad, then are the supernatural claims about God just a lie too?
the sad case of older children losing their faith because of the Santa myth should be enough reason not to introduce it
A quick search on Reddit found multiple threads from people who started questioning the existence of God, after they realised Santa Claus wasn’t real. I mentioned it on Substack and received this comment; ‘thirty years of street preaching, and I can’t even tell you how many bitter ex-church kids include Santa Claus in their testimony.’
God gave us his commandments for a reason, and I think the sad case of older children losing their faith because of the Santa myth should be enough reason not to introduce it.
After becoming a Christian I just continued along with the lie, as it felt too late to change. Then my husband became a believer by which time my daughter was old enough not to believe in Santa Claus. I just pray that hearing the bits and pieces of our testimonies will be enough seeds to sprout belief in her, despite the Santa Claus lie.
with awareness of how the Santa Claus myth plays into the spiritual war, we can shield our children from his arrows
If you’re reading this as a parent who has introduced Santa Claus, then take heart, despite all of my regrets about Santa, I am not afraid. The enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy, but with awareness of how the Santa Claus myth plays into the spiritual war, we can shield our children from his arrows.
One thing we can do is explain the truth about Saint Nicholas, the real man that Santa is based upon. Saint Nicholas was a 4th century Christian bishop who was known for his generosity. He gave bags of gold, bread, and grain to the needy.
The Santa Claus myth originates from the tale of a family who had three daughters. The family were too poor to afford a dowry for their daughters which meant they would be sold into prostitution. However at just the right moment, bags of gold appeared in their home. The bags of gold were tossed through the open window, and said to land in stockings or shoes, hanging by the fire to dry. It is believed that this was the work of Saint Nicholas.
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We can pray for open, honest spirit-led conversations with our children about Santa. We can show them through our faith that God is very real, and very supernatural. I think for example of the day when our cat hadn’t come home for 24 hours and we were worried. I decided to pray with my daughter and ten minutes later the cat strolled into the house! When God is at work, it’s hard to deny it, even in a world with an enemy that tries everything to lead our children away from our creator. Psalm 9.1 says, “I will tell of all the marvellous things you have done.” When we talk about the wonderful things God does in our family, our children can grow up knowing that he is real.
If I had my time again as the parent of a young child I would never introduce Santa Claus. But the sword of truth is the perfect antidote to all the lies. So, this Christmas I won’t be focused on regretting, but on celebrating the birth of our saviour.
For an alternative view see here.
