As new AI platforms like Split Happens emerge, Kate Orson warns that only real relationships and Christ-centred care can address the deep wounds of family breakdown
Split Happens is a new digital AI Platform that uses a chatbot called Yuni to support young people who are dealing with the separation and divorce of their parents. The platform has been created in a collaboration between Restored Lives – a charity who support families going through divorce – and ‘amicable’ a tech company. Restored Lives and the section for youth, Your Direction, was birthed from a group from Holy Trinity Brompton. ‘amicable’ was founded by one of the UK’s leading divorce experts Katy Daly and helps couples achieve amicable divorces without the need of expensive solicitors.
I know first-hand that when parents are going through their own complex feelings about divorce it can be hard to support their children at the same time
Firstly, before I discuss the AI platform, I just want to say how important I feel it is to give non-judgemental support to young people around divorce. For me, growing up in the secular world until the age of 41, and being the child of two parents who separated at 25 and divorced at age 30 I applaud the aims of Your Direction to support young people and create resources for people from ‘all faiths and none.’ It’s a truly laudable aim, and if I had known about the courses to support young people when I was twenty-five, I’d have probably signed up! Instead, I was searching Yahoo chat forums desperately wondering why I felt such complex feelings about my parents’ divorce as an adult.
I know first-hand that when parents are going through their own complex feelings about divorce it can be hard to support their children at the same time. But nevertheless, I strongly feel that while the resources from Your Direction look fantastic, especially the in-person, and online support groups, I would steer clear of Yuni, the AI chatbot.
AI with its oracle-like ability to give a rapid answer to anything and even appear ‘human-like’ has the potential to substitute for real human connection
I know lots of us have discovered the benefits of using AI in our work and life, while also having lots of worries. One of the things that has felt important to me, is to think about how I use AI and the boundaries. For example, one way I use AI that feels totally fine, is to use it as a search engine, but one with much more intelligence, that allows us to find the information and answers that we need. One personal boundary I have is not to use AI for emotional or spiritual support.
We are made in the image of a God, who loves, who cares, who listens. Whether believers or non-believers we are built for communicating and caring for our fellow humans. This form of communication feels sacred, and in a world where a lot of technology seems to be working against real human connection it feels vital to hold onto this.
I grilled Yuni a bit, to see what its answers would be to some faith-based questions
AI with its oracle-like ability to give a rapid answer to anything and even appear ‘human-like’ has the potential to substitute for real human connection, and even more dangerously, act like an idol in the place of God.
As a Christian, I see challenges as an opportunity to point towards God as a source of emotional comfort, after all ‘God heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds’ (Psalm 147:3). A time of crisis can be a time when God can step in powerfully; non-believers come to believe, or a believer deepens their relationship with God. God works things for good for those who love him (Romans 8:28). If I was going through a crisis I would want to use books, articles, podcasts and human beings that could point my child to God rather than secular advice.
The other aspect of this is that the platform also has a worldly perspective on divorce
Imagine, a Christian sharing the love of Christ with someone struggling with their parents’ divorce. They don’t push their faith on them, they might not even talk about faith, but if that person has questions, then the Christian will answer honestly, as we are told in the Bible to always be prepared to give a reason for the hope we have in us (1 Peter 3:15). This is a really wonderful gift, that someone might have the opportunity to find Christ in a time of struggle.
However, the Split Happens platform is different. It has been created by a Christian charity, in collaboration ‘amicable,’ a secular organisation, and any potential users must be aware that it has a very worldly viewpoint on religion.
This platform does seem to be a stepping stone for many towards the other support offered by Your Direction, and that is a good thing
I grilled Yuni a bit, to see what its answers would be to some faith-based questions. I asked if faith could be a source of comfort while a parent was going through divorce and this is what it told me.
“Faith can be a powerful source of comfort and guidance during difficult times, regardless of the specific religion. Each faith tradition offers unique teachings and practices that can support individuals in their healing journey. Whether it’s through prayer, meditation, community support, or spiritual teachings, faith can provide a framework for understanding and coping with life’s challenges.’’
The claim that faith is beneficial ‘regardless of the specific religion,’ and that there are lots of different practises that are beneficial is dangerous and untrue. As I have learnt through my own experience of twenty years in the new age following different spiritual paths that incorporate elements of Buddhism, Hinduism and Paganism, these different spiritual paths are highly destructive and harmful even if they come with short-term perceived benefits.
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The advice the AI chatbot has given is the spiritual equivalent of telling someone that alcohol or drugs can help their healing process because they will make them feel good in the moment.
The average user is unlikely to interrogate it like I did, but I do find it problematic that a Christian funded platform has the potential to say things that are quite untrue.
The other aspect of this is that the platform also has a worldly perspective on divorce. Divorce happens for a multitude of reasons amongst Christian communities, and we must acknowledge that with compassion and understanding. However, the Biblical view of divorce is always going to be at odds with the world’s view and so this platform may tell your child things that are not compatible with your faith.
Despite my misgivings, I recognise the need for resources for young people where they are scarce. This platform does seem to be a stepping stone for many towards the other support offered by Your Direction, and that is a good thing.
