Christmas is supposed to be a time of joy, but for many young people it brings added stresses - Rachael Newham analyses the problem and suggests some ways Christian parents can respond
The further into adulthood you get, the more familiar you become with the pressures that surround the festive period. From the present buying, to the decorations, not to mention navigating the family logistics.
But I wonder if we consider enough how pressurising it is for our young people? They may not have the same to-do lists, but in a world where an Insta-worthy life is expected, is it any wonder that young people are feeling the strain?
What does the research say?
A recent survey by the Children’s Society found that over half of young people between 13 and 16 surveyed felt like Christmas was “too much”.
The three main concerns were:
- the pressure for perfection driven by social media
- the load of school work and
- family dynamics
all complicated by feeling as though they need to ‘look happy’ through it all.
Ultimately, these pressures aren’t so different from our own, and I think it’s vital for our young people that we recognise that we aren’t the only ones struggling.
I don’t know about you, but I can all too easily feel overwhelmed by the perfectly posed pictures all over social media - but a blanket ban is rarely helpful. In fact, around a quarter of young people also found social media helpful as they navigate the festive season.
it’s important that we first and foremost listen to the young people in our lives
What can we do?
With this in mind, it’s important that we first and foremost listen to the young people in our lives and try to find out what is weighing most heavily upon them at this time. This is backed up by the 12% who report wanting to be more understood by the adults around them. We need to ensure we’re responding to their needs rather than our assumptions.
Listening is at the heart of all good relationships - and it’s modelled to us by our listening Lord. It is an astonishing truth that the One who crafted the cosmos cares enough for us to listen to our prayers. His listening is an act of love - and it’s one that we can and should extend to our young people because being heard is a gift that tells our young people they are valuable and valued.
Read more:
Keeping Christ central is key for Christian families this Christmas and Advent
Wait for Christmas as a Christian family - it’s a vital part of who you are
As we listen to what young people have to say and understand their experiences better, we are better able to point them to prayer, encouraging them that it is not just us that can hear the things that matter most to them - but that God cares and wants to hear their hearts too.
We want to be able to reassure our young people (and perhaps remind ourselves) that our mental health is more important than looking happy in the pictures. Jesus did not come to be “God with us” - experiencing the breadth and depth of what it means to be human from the stable to the grave - just for us to pretend everything is fine.
On a more practical note, for some young people, helping them to manage deadlines and exam revision might be most helpful. For others, talking them through the family commitments and any anxieties that surround them could help them to manage emotions around the season.
the names for the Messiah that Isaiah proclaimed in 9.6 (and that adorn many a Christmas card) are the gifts we all need for our souls at Christmas and beyond
Drawing on Scripture and the Christmas story
The Christmas story is full of raw honest emotions, not polished perfection - from the fear of the shepherds, the exhaustion of Mary and Joseph seeking a place to stay, to the grief of Herod’s murders, it extends an invitation not just to recognise our emotions but bring them before the living God who cares for us and encouraging our young people that they can be honest about how they feel without having to put on a show for us (or the pictures).
Thousands of years before Jesus’ coming, the names for the Messiah that Isaiah proclaimed in Isaiah 9:6 (and that adorn many a Christmas card) are the gifts we all need for our souls at Christmas and beyond.
We need our Prince of Peace to fill us with shalom to navigate our family relationships and calm our young people’s fears.
We need our Everlasting Father to envelop our families with His love and care.
We need our Wonderful Counsellor to grant us wisdom and hope.
And we need our Mighty God to give us perspective that shows us how the heart of Christmas extends way beyond the festive season.
