5 ways Christian parents can help their children with exam stress

May is synonymous for many with bank holidays and BBQs, but for young people, it’s the climax of school life and exams. Whether it be Year 6 SATS, GCSEs or A-Levels, many young people are approaching the month with something akin to dread.

Exams are, in some ways, a rite of passage. They come to us all and we can probably remember our own exam times with a mixture of dread and nostalgia, but for an increasing number of young people the stress can be overwhelming and begin to negatively impact, perhaps already fragile mental health.

Just because, in retrospect, the stress of exams can pale in comparison to other pressures doesn’t mean that it’s easy to manage

Childline reports that over 1500 calls last year were related exam stress, with these numbers peaking in May and accounting for 21% of calls in May last year. So whilst exam stress may be normal - that doesn’t make it easy for either young people or parents to navigate.

The calls revealed that exam stress is acute, particularly when it’s compounded by things such as housing and caring pressures, and not helped when parents and teachers dismiss exam stress. For whilst it’s common - and we may have experienced it ourselves - that doesn’t diminish what our young people are facing, particularly against the omnipresent cost of living crisis, which young people are all too aware of.

So how can we respond?

Perhaps the most important thing we can do is to take it seriously. Just because, in retrospect, the stress of exams can pale in comparison to other pressures doesn’t mean that it’s easy to manage.

Listening carefully and attentively to our young people is the single most important thing we can do 

With this in mind, it’s vital that if a young person express feelings of stress and pressure, we take time to listen to them without advice in the first place. Listening carefully and attentively to our young people is the single most important thing we can do to support their well-being, as it demonstrates that we care for them and value them as people - not just their grades. Encourage them that if they find it difficult to speak openly, you’re also available to text or email if they find that more helpful.

There are also practical things we can put in place to support their mental health during this period.

1. Encourage them to take care of their physical health - This might be in how varied their diet is, having a regular sleep schedule, eating as a household regularly and ensuring they get fresh air every day and regular exercise. These things may feel like no-brainers, but they’re vital for supporting our young people because mental health cannot be tackled without also considering physical health.

2. Remind and reassure them that whilst exams are important, they are not more important than their health and wellbeing - So neglecting things that make them feel good, like seeing friends or exercising, can be counter-productive.

Read more:

Your teenager’s revision isn’t pointless - It’s part of God’s plan for changing the world

3. If asked, offer the perspective that whilst exams are important, they are not the be-all and end-all - It might be helpful to frame them as stepping stones in life, that it’s important they do their best to get to the next step, but there are often options and different ways to reach their desired destination.

4. Consider how you can encourage young people to see their friends in person - This is especially important during study leave, which can be quite isolating. It might be meeting at the local library or cafe - or youth workers could consider holding study sessions where young people can get together to revise.

5. Encourage young people that their worth is not tied to how hard they work or the results they achieve - Reassue then that they are created and cared for by God. Some find short ‘breath prayers’ are a great way to both calm down and focus on God. Breath prayers consist of two short phrases that are said with corresponding inhalation and exhalation. For example:

Inhale: In the storm

Exhale: I know you are with me

Breath prayers can consist of anything really - the Psalms are a good place to get inspiration- but by ensuring the inhale phrase is shorter than the exhale phrase, it encourages deep breathing and an elongated exhale, this is proven to contribute to slowing the heart rate and induce a feeling of calm. Practicing some breath prayers that can be used in exams can be a good way to support both spiritual and mental health.

So take a deep breath and get ready to face exam season together!