The proposed under-16s social media ban gives families a renewed chance to use boundaries to guide children toward healthier habits, deeper relationships, and spiritual growth - Kate Orson explains why
Shortly after the government’s ban on social media for under 16’s was announced, a mother of a ten-year-old was interviewed by The Mirror about her concerns that the ban would cause her daughter to have withdrawal symptoms. The mother, Lucy, reported that her daughter had a tantrum when she heard the news and she is calling on the government to offer mental health support for those affected.
As a parent educator, I don’t actually think that the core issue is our children’s emotional reactions to the ban. Children are going to get upset when limits come, whether that’s from a parent, or in this case from the government. They might want to go on social media or have more screentime. They might want chocolate even when they’ve already had lots of sweet treats that week. That doesn’t mean it’s good for them ultimately.
when an action is repeated overtime, it creates a habit. It’s no wonder that when the limit does come a backlog of emotions pours out
As Christians, we know that “the heart is deceitful above all things” (Jeremiah 17:9). We have all sorts of desires and wants that aren’t ultimately good for us. Just as a relationship with God can guide us in the ways of righteousness, we can help guide our children on the right path.
I think of social media and screentime as being in a similar category to sugar or alcohol. These things are best consumed with moderation and can be addictive. As humans we often tend to seek out these things as a way to avoid uncomfortable emotions. Sometimes parents of little ones can enable these habits; for example, giving a tablet to a crying child as a distraction. We’ve all been there, but when an action is repeated overtime, it creates a habit. It’s no wonder that when the limit does come a backlog of emotions pours out.
the opposite of addiction is connection
Tears and tantrums can look a little intense, but they are also a natural part of being human. Even Jesus wept. Crying is a healing process, a way that stress and upset is released. Tantrums aren’t necessarily a sign that something is wrong, or there is a mental health issue that needs support outside of the family. This might sometimes be the case, but often what a child needs is a parent to listen, to empathise, but also to hold the limit.
Author and addictions expert Johann Hari has said that the opposite of addiction is connection. Social media seems to offer a promise of community and connection, but in reality, people get caught in a dopamine cycle, of seeking highs and crashing lows.
A ban on social media could be just the opportunity that the church needs to provide a place teenagers can come to connect with others, and most importantly, hear the gospel
This is where a limit is helpful, limits help avoid excessive use and replace that time with something more rewarding. Maybe it’s playing board games, meeting friends, spending time outside and all the good nurturing things that we know reward us better than social media.
This is something the church can do well; providing the genuine human connection that social media promises, but never really delivers. A ban on social media could be just the opportunity that the church needs to provide a place teenagers can come to connect with others, and most importantly, hear the gospel.
Read more:
What Christian parents and young people really think about the social media ban
The social media ban for U16s will make things worse
The social media ban for under-16s will help teens connect in the real-world
I think of all the testimonies we hear from those who’ve been living a life of crime or addicted to drugs and alcohol. When people hit rock bottom, when a limit is imposed like prison, or when someone reaches the ends of themselves and their behaviour, that’s often when they become open to hearing about Christianity.
A healthy limit can be like a gift to seek something more rewarding, and ultimately, the only thing that can fill our human need for connection is God.
As Christian parents, we can be ready for those moments with our own children, those times when we need to set a limit but might be dreading the emotional fallout. Instead, we can welcome it, knowing that in those moments when a child needs support with difficult emotions, they might just be able to see that ultimately they need Jesus.
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