Should Christian parents be prepared to smack their children? The case against corporal punishment

The Research is unequivocal; smacking children is harmful. Studies have shown that the negative effects of smacking include problems with social-emotional development, self-regulation, and cognitive development. Smacking also alters children’s brain response in ways similar to severe maltreatment and it increases the perception of threats. 

What does the Bible say? 

Yet how do we reconcile this with what the Bible says? Proverbs 23:13 says, ‘Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you strike him with a rod, he will not die.’ Then there is Proverbs 13.24 which says, ‘Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.’ 

Well the key word here is ‘discipline.’ In the Hebrew discipline is, ‘musar’ - meaning, ‘Discipline, instruction, correction, chastisement.’ God requires us to guide our children and correct them if they do something wrong, but that doesn’t necessarily mean smacking. The rod spoken about in the proverbs refers to a shepherd’s rod that was used to gently guide sheep on the right path and was only used to scare away predatory animals. It was not used for violence against the sheep. 

What does science say? 

Before becoming a Christian four years ago, I trained as a parent educator with an organisation called Hand in Hand Parenting. From Hand in Hand, I learnt about the brain science of why children misbehave. The human brain is wired for connection to others. The limbic system of a child’s brain can be viewed as a radar which seeks out a sense of safety with an adult. When that sense of connection breaks, misbehaviour results. It’s like a red flag waving saying, ‘help, I need connection!  When your child pulls the cat’s tail, or hits a sibling, when they do those things that seem like they are ‘just’ doing it for attention, it’s actually a legitimate need.