THIS WEEK’S PASSAGE

Song of Songs 8:6-7

BACKGROUND PREPARATION Read Wikipedia’s article on John Paul Getty. Re-read all the biblical stories mentioned below. Print out group discussion questions, the anagrams from ‘What’s love got to do with it?’ and copies of Song of Songs 8:6-7.

The last Rolo test

15 mins 

Ask everyone to think of someone they really love – grandparent, girlfriend, sibling etc. - then to score themselves in a quick ‘love test’. For each statement they must award themselves points - zero (doesn’t apply to me), one (perhaps) or two (definitely true):

‘I love X so much that I would…’

… run into a burning building to get them out.

… never forget their birthday.

… give them my last Rolo.

… jump in front of a bus to save them.

… daydream about them constantly.

… do absolutely anything they asked.

Compare scores in the group and see who has the highest and lowest.

Say: our culture celebrates love constantly – songs, movies, soap opera plots – and it’s romantic to imagine you’d do absolutely anything for love. But actually - are there limits? (For example, should a teacher abscond with a 15 year-old?) Love can endanger life! So what do effective leaders and Christians do with emotions – ignore them? You can’t do that either – look at the sadness of John Paul Getty, once the richest man in the world who said: ‘I hate and regret the failure of my marriages. I would gladly give all my millions for just one lasting marital success.’ Solomon had to work out how love fitted into leadership.

Finish this section by explaining Solomon’s story, to the group.

First things first

10 mins 

In small groups, get the group to examine these verses. What do they suggest about a Christian leader’s priorities?

2 Corinthians 5:9, Matthew 12:46-48, Colossians 3:23, 1 Timothy 5:8, Ephesians 6:1-3, Galatians 6:10, Ecclesiastes 8:9-10

Ask: so what are our key responsibilities in life? Are there other important relationships, not mentioned in these verses (e.g. employment)? Putting them all together, in what order of importance should they come?

What’s love got to do with it?

10 mins

Where does love feature in this mix? Give small groups copies of Songs 8:6-7, and a copy of these four anagrams - OWRELUPF, RATRALUPIC, TISSTERNEP and UCREPISO. Ask them to read the passage and then unscramble the four words that show the four elements of love that Solomon talks about in the passage. After the words have been unscrambled, ask the groups where in the passage these characteristics of love are described. (Answers: powerful – ‘strong as death’; particular – ‘jealousy’; persistent – ‘cannot wash it away’; precious – ‘all the wealth’.)

Ask: is Solomon right? Why does love make sensible people do silly things? How can it endanger the priorities we’ve just looked at – or does it help?

Youth group scandal

15 mins

Say: here’s a youth group with interesting problems…How is love getting in the wrong place here? What would you do if you were one of the leaders? Give each small group a scenario to look at and discuss from the links section of the Youthwork website, thinking about whether what has happened is right or wrong: Ask each group to feedback to the wider group. What principles can we learn from these situations? 

Bible failures

15 mins 

Say: there are examples of misplaced love right through the Bible too. In small groups, look at these stories (you might also want to provide a thumbnail sketch of the background so that people understand what’s going on):

• Solomon: contrast what he prayed in 1 Kings 3:7-9 with the outcome in 1 Kings 11:1-4, 11. What went wrong?

• Samson: in Judges 16:15-18 he makes a blunder that costs him his work, his health and his life. Why?

• Ahab: he married a foreign princess. 1 Kings 21:5-10 demonstrates her power over him. How?

• Herod: when you’re in love you’re vulnerable to manipulation. How does Matthew 14:1-10 show this?

• Amnon: lust isn’t love. Read 2 Samuel 13:8- 15. How do you explain verse 15?

Compare results between groups. How could we fall into these traps today?

My life and loves

5 mins 

Finally, give people some space to reflect on what they’ve discussed and review their own priorities in living. Perhaps play a challenging song such as 'Make my life a prayer to you' by Keith Green, in the background. You can invite individuals to think in silence; or if more appropriate encourage people to share thoughts together. 

To make this meeting guide work for your context, check out the links section of the Youthwork website.

KEY POINT #1

To live life to the full, we must have our priorities properly set in a biblical order.

KEY POINT #2

There are many ways of getting it wrong. Leaders need to be devastatingly honest with themselves – feelings are tricky!