Miel de Botton: “Parenthood is challenging, but faith, prayer, and perseverance carry you through”

Miel de Botton is a singer-songwriter, clinical psychologist, philanthropist, and mother whose life is a tapestry of faith and creativity. Raised in a secular Jewish family in Switzerland, Miel discovered her own faith as a young girl, nurtured by the influence of a devoted Christian nanny. In this interview, Miel shares her journey — from childhood and career choices to motherhood, faith, and the inspiration behind her music — offering encouragement and insight for Christian parents navigating the challenges and joys of family life.

Can you tell us a bit about your early childhood? What was it like growing up in your family?

It was very structured and polite, almost Victorian. We children were downstairs with the nanny while parents entertained guests upstairs. We learned English from the age of ten through private lessons. Everything was orderly, and we were expected to be well-mannered, well-dressed, and quiet around guests.

My parents were secular Jews and often quite dismissive of belief

Where did faith come into your early life?

My parents were secular Jews and often quite dismissive of belief. But I remember feeling a force, a sense of God, sitting in the garden, inspired in part by our nanny, a devout Catholic. It was a private, profound feeling that accompanied me through my childhood. I did lose my faith temporarily when my father died — it was sudden and devastating — but over two years, it returned.

So, your faith persisted despite your parents’ secularism?

Yes. I even celebrated Christmas in my room, quietly, while the rest of the family laughed. That didn’t shake my faith. I feel as if all the faith in my family’s generations has concentrated in me, giving me a strong, personal connection with God.

Faith is essential to me in every way

You mentioned being close to your brother. Did differences in belief affect your relationship?

Not at all. My brother is atheist, but we support and love each other. The only challenge is finding language that resonates with both of us. I aim to find the right words in communication, and these differences have not hindered our bond I feel.

You studied law at Oxford before moving into psychology. What drove those choices?

My father suggested law because of my debating skills, but I found it dull. I added moral and political philosophy papers to the degree and later pursued psychology, which felt truer to who I am. I was fascinated by human behaviour, partly from growing up observing my parents and trying to be closer to them. The psychology work was challenging in a good way and living in Paris was also a wonderful, formative experience.

Did your faith ever feel at odds with psychology?

Not really. While the field has atheistic roots in Freud, I was drawn to Jung and the Californian therapies with their spiritual qualities. They complemented my beliefs rather than conflicted with them.

Turning to your philanthropy, how do faith and values shape your charitable work?

Faith is essential to me in every way— it drives me to want the world to be better. I’ve supported environmental projects, like WWF and Synchronicity Earth, as well as arts and science initiatives, including the Jerusalem Foundation. Service, stewardship of the planet, and love for others are deeply connected to my values and my belief that everything we have is a gift from God.

These tracks celebrate intimacy, memory, and the legacy of love and discipline in my family

And your music — what role does it play in your life?

Music is about healing — for others and for me. My album Loved Ones is divided into three volumes, celebrating family, friends, and romantic love. Each song, whoever it is dedicated to, is a tribute and a way to process emotion. For example, a song for my father helped me grieve his sudden passing. It’s also an opportunity to share joy, spotlight friends, and bring people together.

You sing in multiple languages — English, French, German. How does that connect to your family and upbringing?

My father spoke nine languages, so I grew up in a multilingual environment. Singing in French or German is a natural extension of that heritage. It also allows me to express deeply personal emotions, like in My Mother, a song featuring my mother, I sing with her in her native tongue of German as she is Swiss, or My Dear Little Papa, a tribute to my father which I sing in French, our shared language. These tracks celebrate intimacy, memory, and the legacy of love and discipline in my family.

Live your values authentically; children observe far more than they’re taught

Your upbringing was high-pressure and perfectionistic. How has that shaped your approach to parenting?

I’ve learned to recalibrate. I didn’t want to force my children into rigid paths. Independence, exploration, and personal choice are key. My son pursued army training at 16 and later became a surf instructor; my daughter, once shy, blossomed socially and academically. Setting firm but loving boundaries was challenging but necessary.

Have your children followed your faith?

No — both are atheists. I introduced them to every festival I could, Christian and Jewish but children make their own choices. While it’s disappointing, I see value in integrity, love, and living by example, trusting that seeds planted may bear fruit in unexpected ways. I am delighted to see they have thrived despite difficulties in their journey and to see them behaving with integrity.

Read more:

Ed Drew: “Parenting isn’t complicated: love them, listen to them, keep them safe, and point them to Jesus”

James Cary: “Parenting has taught me patience, sacrificial love, and intentionality”

Natalie Williams: “what you model and invest in, even when life is hard, can build something in your children that lasts”

Looking back, what advice would you give yourself before becoming a parent?

Don’t panic. Trust that God is present and that everything happens for a reason. Parenthood is challenging, but faith, prayer, and perseverance carry you through.

And what guidance would you offer other parents in nurturing faith and values?

Focus on integrity, love, and treating others well. Live your values authentically; children observe far more than they’re taught. Biblical principles, such as the Ten Commandments, offer practical guidance for raising children in a world that needs integrity and compassion.

With such a busy life — music, philanthropy, parenting — how do you stay grounded?

Prayer, reflection, and time in nature are my anchors. On stage, performing in front of many, I feel God’s presence keeping me calm. I also remind myself of the larger purpose behind everything I do, whether in art, charity, or family life.

Finally, what is your current focus?

Right now, it’s the release of my new album, Loved Ones, which is being released in stages as we speak. Also performing in Paris with Simply Red this autumn which will be a real highlight of my year. But at the heart of it all is care for loved ones, faith, and service — the constants that give meaning to every accomplishment.