James Cary: “Parenting has taught me patience, sacrificial love, and intentionality”

Author and sitcom write James Cary considers how parenting doesn’t just transform children - it changes parents too

James, let’s start with your background. Where did you grow up and what was it like?

I grew up on a dairy farm in Somerset, the youngest of four with three older sisters. Growing up, I often felt like my family had started without me. There are family photos of my older sisters and parents, and then me and my sister kind of showing up in the second family. It’s completely in my head, but it felt like that. I sometimes think being the youngest influences how you see the world—you arrive late to the party and end up observing, commenting, or, in my case, writing. I even asked Ben Elton about this once; he’s also the youngest of four. He didn’t buy my theory, but I still think there’s something to it.

Being the youngest also meant I got to watch whatever my older sisters watched on TV—Cheers and MASH*. That probably explains why I think American television is the natural language of situation comedy. It all subtly shapes you—why you think certain things are funny, why you see life in a particular way.

My mum had great integrity. She always kept her promises, she never said she’d do something she couldn’t, which has profoundly influenced how I parent today

Faith-wise, I had what I’d call an average Judeo-Christian upbringing: christened, occasional church, mum probably keener than dad. My real exposure to faith came when my parents ……