Ed Drew: “Parenting isn’t complicated: love them, listen to them, keep them safe, and point them to Jesus”

Ed, tell us where you came from and how you got to where you are now.

I was born in France while my parents were working there – my mum is Irish; my dad is English – and we moved to England when I was two. I grew up in a church-going home and remember being told, aged 11, that I could become a Christian. I thought, I didn’t realise it was possible not to be! So, I said, “I’m in.”

After school, I trained as an engineer and worked in a factory making washing powder — Daz, Bold and Fairy. I loved that job, and I still think of myself as an engineer at heart. It’s nice to be able to fix things, but I was always thinking that Jesus is better at fixing stuff than I am!

There were nights when I was dealing with 32 tons of the wrong washing powder, thinking, I’d rather lose my evening for Jesus than for this

I spent my summers on Christian holidays where I had become a Christian, given my first talk, and had my first real conversations about faith. Those experiences shaped me. I kept helping as a leader while working in the factory and often told friends I’d love to spend more time talking about Jesus. There were nights when I was dealing with 32 tons of the wrong washing powder, thinking, I’d rather lose my evening for Jesus than for this.

After three years, I decided to give full time paid ministry a go “for a bit” — and that was 25 years ago! We need Christian engineers, but God had other plans for me.

When I started working for a church, apart from my three nieces, I’d not spent much time with children. But I was given a Sunday school class with a brilliant leader who taught five-year-olds about Jesus straight from the Bible. I was amazed at how much they understood from her and the questions they asked. I have never stopped being amazed. So, I worked in that ministry for 15 years before sensing God calling me to move on.

At the time, I’d been running a small training day for children’s workers in London and putting resources online through a website called Faith in Kids. It was just a bit of my job, but when I left the church role, a colleague and I decided to give it a proper go for two years and see what happened. We both worked part-time and trusted God to provide.

Nine years later, Faith in Kids has grown to a team of 11. All our resources are free, and we exist entirely through people’s generosity. The Lord has been incredibly kind.

What was it like growing up in the Drew household?

I grew up in an extremely loving family – Mum, dad and two siblings. We always went to church, but I don’t remember many conversations about faith. We were a family of talkers; everyone had an opinion! My dad used to pray with me before bed. I don’t know if it was every night, but it mattered enormously to me.

Dad is my role model – generous, patient, kind – though he didn’t find talking about faith simple. He has always lived for Jesus in a quiet, faithful way that spoke volumes.

Both my parents lived out the Christian life and modelled the fruit of the Spirit

Now, working with parents, I often remind myself that faith at home doesn’t need to be complicated. My dad’s prayers before bed – thanking God for the day, asking for help tomorrow – were enough to make me want what he had.

I sometimes wonder whether I have the most boring or the most glorious testimony: I was simply loved by Christians and shown how to live a kind life. I thank my parents often for that.

We lived in the countryside, had a couple of cows, and cycled everywhere. It was a quiet, simple life. I wasn’t spoiled, but I had everything I needed.

How did your parents influence your faith?

Both my parents lived out the Christian life and modelled the fruit of the Spirit. My mum’s faith journey was different to my dad’s – she struggled with some traditional evangelical ideas, particularly about hell, and that shaped how we talked about faith at home.

She’s been ordained in the Church of England for most of my life and has always encouraged me to respect other traditions and to speak about faith carefully and graciously. That’s stayed with me.

Those family quirks make you realise later how faith and family culture intertwine

I grew up in a small village church, which gave me a heart for those little congregations that might only have one family with children. Two-thirds of Church of England parishes have fewer than five under-16s, and some dioceses have more church buildings than children. That breaks my heart.

Faith is often caught as much as taught. My grandfather, who was Chief Engineer in the engine room of warships in World War II, once told me that whilst he was onboard “I trusted Jesus. He’s counted my days.” That simple trust passed to my dad, and I hope it’s true of me too. If people say at my funeral that I was like them, I’d be happy with that.

Were there any family traditions that shaped you?

At Christmas, we never opened presents until after lunch – stockings first, then church, a huge meal, the Queen’s Speech, and then presents! It probably wasn’t particularly Christian, but it did make church central to the day. I never remember arguments about whether we’d go to church – it was just what we did.

Every time we sang, “Crown him with many crowns”, my dad, being an engineer, would lean over during the line “Creator of the rolling spheres” and whisper “ball bearings!” I was well into my 20s before I realised it meant planets!

Those family quirks make you realise later how faith and family culture intertwine – church was simply part of who we were.

Read more:

James Cary: “Parenting has taught me patience, sacrificial love, and intentionality”

Natalie Williams: “what you model and invest in, even when life is hard, can build something in your children that lasts”

Gavin Calver: “celebrate your children. Too often parents moan about how tiring kids are. But children are a gift from the Lord.”

If you could thank your parents for one thing, what would it be?

They encouraged me to be free – to make my own decisions and stand by them. I didn’t have to tell them what time I was coming home; the assumption was I’d act responsibly. I hope that confidence they had in me shaped the way I now parent my own kids.

You’ve been a dad for 18 years now. What’s it been like?

Recently I was on a panel at a gathering of Christians and without thinking I said that “parenting is mostly guilt and regret” – and the audience gasped! My Australian friend next to me said, “You are so British!”

My role is to love my kids as God has loved me

For him, parenting has been full of laughter and picnics and sunshine. For me, it’s often been a battle with guilt – feeling I should be doing better. But that’s not the whole Christian story. Even when I fall short, God is always kind.

My role is to love my kids as God has loved me. I wish I were more disciplined, but Jesus says, “I’ve got this. You’re forgiven. Let’s go again.” That’s parenting grace.

What have been some of the biggest challenges?

One of the hardest seasons was when one of my children said they didn’t have a single friend in the world. That went on for years, with tears every week. At first, I thought they were exaggerating. I organised playdates, talked to teachers, gave advice — but nothing worked.

It was a huge lesson that parents can’t fix everything

It was a huge lesson that parents can’t fix everything. We’d pray together through tears: “Lord, have mercy. Be with my child.” That experience showed me how much we long for our children’s flourishing – but only Jesus can give life to the full. Every parent wants that for their kids, but only in Christ do we know where it comes from.

In other seasons, there have been small victories – hugging, listening, praying together, reading the Bible when we can. Parenting isn’t complicated: love them, listen to them, keep them safe, and point them to Jesus. We do our best!

We’ve gone through different approaches to family devotions, but right now it’s simple – a line of a Psalm each and then we turn it into a short prayer. We pray in the car, after a great day, or before we visit someone. I just want my children to see that gratitude and prayer are normal.

If you could give advice to yourself before your first child was born, what would it be?

You don’t know what you’re doing – and neither does your wife! Don’t panic. Trust Jesus. Lean into church. It’s going to be OK because he’s got this.

Is there anything else you’d like to say to parents?

I genuinely believe that if you’re a parent, no other job is more important. Not even being the Prime Minister!

Parenting shapes a life in ways no education policy or government budget ever could. But I don’t say that to add guilt – I say it because it’s also the most joyful job in the world.

If you do feel guilt or regret, remember: Jesus is for you, he’s for your parenting, and he’s for your children more than you can ever imagine.

Ed Drew is the Director of Faith in Kids (www.faithinkids.org) which exists to see confident parents and thriving churches raising children together to trust Jesus eternally. He is the presenter of the Faith in Kids podcast for parents and the author of Raising Confident Kids in a Confusing World.