Parenting without pretence: How vulnerability builds stronger families and communities

It’s a sunny Tuesday morning in London and everyone in my family is getting ready for their respective days – a dad, a mum, and five kids. What could possibly go wrong? As it turns out… socks. Socks can go very wrong.

As I make my way down the hallway, humming as I head to the kitchen to do some quick dishwashing, I am accosted (quite literally) by two angry little girls who have no school socks. Why do they have no socks? Well, according to them, their big sisters have stolen them.

Now, using other people’s things without asking is a massive trigger in my house – as you might imagine in a family of seven – so, immediately, the switch flicks and I go into fight mode. Marching into the teenage girls’ shared room, I demand the stolen socks.

Of course, they deny everything. Then my 13-year-old chooses this exact moment to turn on her 15-year-old sister and accuse her of stealing her socks. The accused – arch culprit of acquired goods in our house – immediately goes on the defensive (with adequate amounts of special teen vitriol) and insists she was given permission by her accuser. And just like that, the Great Sock War of 2025 erupts — with accusations, shouting, eye rolls, and a stern (yet ignored) lecture about respect. Oh, and a side rant about phones in bedrooms — thank you (not thank you), The Anxious Generation, for that intrusive inner voice.

Words fly like bullets. Eventually, I pull everything out of the little girls’ drawers in frustration — only to discover at least ten white socks. Yes, really. Ten.

Meanwhile, my son quietly puts on his black socks and walks away. Lucky him.