Motherhood as ministry: The case for staying-at-home

For an alternative view see here.

From the beginning of time, the role of women has often been tied to domesticity and child-rearing. The traditional roles undertaken by women—roles sometimes looked down on today—positively defined many of the matriarchs of the past. Yet today, society critiques the maternal homemaker stereotype and instead celebrates the contributions women have made beyond the home. With the exception of Mothering Sunday, the role of ‘motherhood’ and ‘homemaker’ now seems little celebrated or advocated for. 

The world, of course, has changed—and mostly for the better. As women, we rightly celebrate those who fought for our voices to be heard and for equal opportunities. Yet we’ve been told that we can “have it all”—and that hasn’t fully worked for many of us. 

Many women want more than the domestic life that once defined them. Their abilities, passions, and opportunities often mean motherhood is put on hold while careers are pursued. Although children are longed for and often part of the ‘10-year plan,’ they can become an afterthought as biological clocks tick and potential fertility issues arise. Once life and career become established, children can be seen as an inconvenience. 

But what about those who choose the traditional path? In a world that offers endless opportunities, there can be a negative response to those who ‘just’ choose motherhood. Yet for many of us, the decision goes far deeper.

For everything I have surrendered, God has blessed me tenfold

Six years ago, while I was pregnant with our first child, my husband and I decided I would become a stay-at-home mum. Three children later, I still am. Over these years, I’ve found that when people discover my role, they typically respond in one of three ways:

1. “I don’t know how you do it—you must be super-mum!”
2. “I wish I could do that, but…”
3. Silence. 

To the first, I simply reply, “Only by the grace of God, and with a lot of prayer.” To the second, I’m tempted to be blunt and say: “Well, you can—what’s stopping you?” The third response grieves me the most. Although I know there are many reasons for it, silence often leaves me feeling invisible, as if I am no longer worthy of conversation simply because I don’t have a ‘job.’ 

Motherhood does not define who I am. Over the past six years, I have wrestled with my own identity. It is just as easy to become defined by your children as it is by a job title. Yet womanhood is not defined by motherhood, nor by career. It is defined by our relationship with God: we are made in His image. As women, we are image-bearers, in equal measure to men. 

There are many aspects of God’s image that shape our identity as women. One is our role as life-bringers. Just as God brought life into the world, He entrusted that unique role to women. Some women will never walk the path of biological motherhood (and again, womanhood is not defined by it), but for those called to bear children, it is not simply a biological act—it is a spiritual calling, one that draws us nearer to God’s image in a unique way. 

For some, motherhood may come unexpectedly. It may feel overwhelming. It may influence views, desires, and choices about returning to work. If fear, uncertainty, or feelings of unworthiness are shaping your decisions, stop and pray. Draw close to God. Remember who you are in Him. From that foundation, you can find peace about whichever path you take. 

Why I chose to be a stay-at-home mum 

First and foremost, I truly believe that God called me to raise my children personally. 

Secondly, with a background in children’s spirituality, children’s ministry, and family discipleship, when I found out I was pregnant (despite never planning for children and doubting whether I could have them), I felt God laugh: “You’ve preached it—now live it.” 

I believe a child’s spirit is alive before their first breath, shaping who they are and who they will become. Parenthood is a holy calling. We are tasked with raising holy children and faithful disciples of Christ. 

We all want the best for our children. Many of us, at some point, believe we aren’t enough. When you feel that way, remember: you are made in the image of God, set apart to “tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord.” The best thing for your child is you. God has entrusted your children to you. He has called you to nurture and journey with them in the footsteps of Jesus.

I thank Him daily for the gift of walking these precious years side-by-side with my children, nurturing not just their bodies, but their souls

The first few years of a child’s life are precious (exhausting and relentless too!). In those early years, you lay the foundations of their character and worldview. As a stay-at-home parent, you are the primary influence—physically, cognitively, emotionally, socially, and spiritually. I wanted to ensure my children’s earliest years were saturated with God’s presence. I wanted to be the one to shape their worldview, with God at the centre. 

I have relished every worldly milestone, but even more, I have cherished the spiritual journey I have walked with them. Through their eyes, I have encountered God anew. Their awe at His creation has reignited my faith. In shaping their hearts, I have been continually reshaped myself, learning afresh what it means to have “child-like faith.” 

The benefits of being a stay-at-home parent 

While there are certainly challenges, the benefits of being a stay-at-home parent are profound:

• It’s fun!
• You see the world anew through your child’s eyes.
• You curate and influence your child’s development firsthand.
• You don’t miss a moment.
• You relive the joys of your own childhood.
• No childcare costs or juggling.
• You build a strong community and new friendships.
• You share your passions and memories with your child.
• You disciple your children daily.
• You gain new skills! (I am now a teacher, cook, personal shopper, cleaner, event organiser, photographer, nurse, referee, cheerleader, counsellor, hairdresser, detective, taxi driver, juggler—among other things.) 

Not every woman has the choice to stay home. For those who do, it is a rich and rewarding life. For everything I have surrendered, God has blessed me tenfold. I thank Him daily for the gift of walking these precious years side-by-side with my children, nurturing not just their bodies, but their souls.

For an alternative view see here.