Christmas is great but is your family missing out on the joys of Advent and Epiphany?

Every year, as the days grow darker and excitement for Christmas builds, I look forward to one thing most of all: Advent.

Advent is a season of anticipation, of wonder, and of joy.

When I was growing up, Advent was as much a part of our family’s Christmas traditions as putting up the tree or going to church on Christmas Day. Every year, my mum would place the Advent candle on the table, we would set up the wooden nativity scene, open the Playmobil Advent calendar, and, of course, argue over who would be the first to open our shared chocolate calendar.

I guarantee that we laugh more trying to find the missing baby Jesus than anyone does over the antics of a naughty elf on the shelf

Each morning during Advent, we would sit down for breakfast together and read through the Christmas promises and the story of Jesus’ birth. We took turns lighting the candle, opening the Playmobil window, or revealing the chocolate for the day. It took me years to realise that most people ate their chocolate as they opened it. In our house, we always put ours in a bowl on the shelf to share on Christmas Day!

I have such fond memories of Advent that I wrote my own Advent devotional for families. It is something I now do each year with my boys. It leads us through the same Christmas promises and the story of Jesus’ birth, with daily activities that draw us closer to God and prepare our hearts for the coming of Jesus.

I also remember the wonderful magic and mystery of Father Christmas. I can still picture myself sneaking downstairs to see if he had left anything under the tree or discovering one year that he had even moved the Christmas tree from one room to another. For me, Father Christmas was always a gentle addition to an already magical time.

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Now, when I talk to parents, I often hear them describe the pressure to create a Christmas to remember, to make sure their children experience the magic of Christmas. Many feel overwhelmed by the world’s expectations of what makes a perfect Christmas. The lengths parents go to in order to keep the mystery and magic alive have gone far beyond secretly leaving gifts under the tree and hoping the children do not notice that Santa seems to be on speed dial.

As my boys grow older and more aware of how others celebrate Christmas, I have spent a lot of time reflecting on what it really means to make Christmas joyful and meaningful. I keep coming back to the same question, one I already know the answer to: what is Christmas really all about? And how can we separate what the world has claimed as Christmas from what it truly is?

For us, it begins with Advent. When someone asks if we have our elf on the shelf ready, I smile and say no, but I have my Advent candle and devotional ready. In our home, there is no Christmas bribery, no Santa on speed dial, and no naughty elf causing mischief and mayhem. Instead, there is an Advent candle, which the boys love to light, reminding us of the light of the world as we count down the days to Christmas. There is a devotional that points us each day to the true meaning of Christmas. And there is a homemade Advent calendar that contains the characters, and a few extras, from the Christmas story.

This year, instead of exchanging gifts at Christmas, we are going to journey with the Magi, following the star into the New Year and presenting our gifts on Epiphany

Our challenge each December is to ask ourselves what the focus of our home is during this season. If you look around our house, you will not find an extravagant tree or elaborate decorations. What you will see are nativity scenes, lots of them. Each year we make angels and place them around the house

It is not what the world around us is doing, but it holds far more joy and meaning. I guarantee that we laugh more trying to find the missing baby Jesus than anyone does over the antics of a naughty elf on the shelf.

Each year, as the world seems to claim more and more of Christmas, I find myself wanting to pull further away. Yet I still long for my children to experience the wonder and joy that I did as a child. Every parent must decide for themselves how to approach Father Christmas. We have chosen never to lie to our children. We do not stamp out their curiosity, but instead answer their questions with more questions, gently guiding them back to the true meaning of Christmas.

This simple rhythm between Advent and Epiphany is not about keeping up with the world’s version of Christmas, but about preparing our hearts for the coming King

The gifts we give and receive on Christmas Day are a way to celebrate the birth of Jesus. After all, you do not get presents on anyone else’s birthday, but Jesus is the greatest gift, and he loves to share good things with us. So we give gifts of joy.

For us, Christmas does not end with presents on Christmas Day, or even the arguments on Boxing Day, but continues through to Epiphany. When the wise men appear in the Advent calendar, we hide them upstairs, and on Christmas Day they begin their journey toward the manger, finally arriving on Epiphany. This year, instead of exchanging gifts at Christmas, we are going to journey with the Magi, following the star into the New Year and presenting our gifts on Epiphany.

This simple rhythm between Advent and Epiphany is not about keeping up with the world’s version of Christmas, but about preparing our hearts for the coming King. It teaches us to pause, to wonder, and to celebrate the true story that changed everything.

And as the lights fade and the decorations come down, the hope of Christmas remains. Christ has come, and he is still the light in our darkness though the whole year. That is where the true magic and joy of Christmas will always be found.