A woman’s place? Rethinking work, home, and biblical calling

For an alternative view see here.

I remember the first pay packet I received; it was actual cash in a small brown envelope and was the result of my eight hours in a local coffee shop. I loved that job—the freedom it gave me, the finance it provided, and (retrospectively) the experience it gave me of the working world.

Since I was 15, I have spent most of my life in some kind of employment. I’ve been employed full-time, self-employed, and on maternity or adoption leave. However, for the last 15 months, for the first time in my life, I’ve not been in paid employment as I cared for one of our children who was not in full-time education. Although in many ways I feel like I’ve worked harder in this last year than ever before, not bringing in income has given me cause and opportunity to reflect on this thing called ‘work’.

Is a woman’s place in the home?

Maybe you’ve come across the rise of ‘trad wife’ content on social media? If it hasn’t shown up on your feed, it’s a trend where some married women are choosing to embrace traditional gender roles, staying home to focus on homemaking, cooking, and raising children while their husbands work outside the home. Often, this overlaps with couples who identify as Christians—a particular cultural expression that’s too easily mistaken for a universal blueprint of how Christian women ‘ought’ to live.

It is absolutely true that the Bible calls us to honour our spouses and children, commands humility and submission in marriage, and to embrace our God-given calling. For some parents, this may be primarily in the home, and across the world today, where this is the case, it is still primarily women who choose and/or take on this role.

But is a woman who does this godlier? In perhaps the most often quoted chapter of the Bible that speaks about women, Proverbs 31, there is a picture of a woman who is industrious, engaged in trade, works hard, and provides for her family. There are Old Testament examples in Ruth, the midwives in Exodus 1, and the Shunammite woman (2 Kings 4), alongside those in the early church—Lydia (Acts 16), Priscilla (Acts 18), and Phoebe (Romans 16)—who were active in ministry and business alongside hospitality and family.

Workplaces, as in all spaces in society, need godly men and women, focused on His kingdom, becoming more Christlike, and bringing their best alongside others doing the same.

I would argue that there is no biblical instruction for women (or men) not to work outside the home. Instead, what is more important is how we work and seek first the kingdom of God, how we allow the character of Christ to be developed and displayed through us, how we best steward what God has given us, and how we serve others so that whatever ‘work’ we do, we honour God.

Why do you work?

For most people across the world, it’s probably quite a simple answer—because they need to, so they can bring in income to provide for their family or household (however that is constituted).

For me, even if my husband brought in ‘enough’ income for us or we had a lottery win (miraculous given that we don’t currently play), I would still choose to go to work. I have missed being ‘at work’ in the last year—not the inbox full of messages to reply to or the high-pressure deadlines—but the experience and community that came with work.

This past year has been full—with projects like Education, Health and Care Plans, tribunals, and other things that needed to happen. I’ve found community in different ways, and I’ve had the privilege of caring for family members across generations. In lots of ways, I haven’t missed some of what working outside the home can bring. And yet, I’m genuinely excited to be returning to work—not because it replaces or lessens my ability to care for, nurture, or advocate for my children, and certainly not because it makes me any less of a ‘good wife’ (whatever that even means!).

3 reasons why I choose to work outside the home

You can’t be what you can’t see

I get to raise daughters and sons, and I want to set an example to them of pursuing calling in whatever form that takes. It’s important to us that neither our sons nor daughters see only their dad going outside the home to work, any more than seeing only mum cleaning or cooking. Our daughters may have children in the future, and I want to model to them what it looks like to balance family life alongside pursuing whatever work outside the home looks like. I long to raise sons whose default is not to assume that their role for life is as ‘breadwinner’ and their wife will take a decade out to raise children. If that is how they organise their lives, may that be a choice that they have all taken instead of adhering to a cultural ‘norm.’

I’m a better mum, wife, and human when I do…

I’ve come to realise that I’m actually a more present, content, and focused parent—and wife—when I have parts of my life (work included) that exist outside of my children and husband. It’s definitely added more plates to spin, and there have been moments of school holiday logistics that have nearly short-circuited my brain. But I feel confident that choosing to pursue and prioritise the full breadth of my calling—which absolutely includes and finds joy in being a mum and a wife, and also includes the work I feel called to and genuinely love—is part of being obedient to what God has called me to and who God has made me to be.

This will be different for others; the breadth of calling may focus for a time on being at home, and where that is possible to do, then I want to cheer loudly for women making that choice, secure in the knowledge that it is different for me and that neither is ‘more’ godly or biblical.

Workplaces need men and women

Let’s go back to where we (and it all) began, in Genesis. God created Adam, then Eve, and called them to partner together in the work. It’s one of those moments where the English translation doesn’t quite do justice to the original, casting the woman as a ‘helper’ in a way that’s often misunderstood. Women weren’t created to be some kind of assistant or sidekick to men, but to lead with them—made different (sometimes in ways that feel wildly mysterious) but made equal. Men and women are invited to bring those differences together, to complement one another in ways that honour the one who made us.

I’ve been in workplaces that are male- and female-dominated. It strikes me that both have the potential to be unhealthy. Workplaces, as in all spaces in society, need godly men and women, focused on His kingdom, becoming more Christlike, and bringing their best alongside others doing the same. Imagine what a different world we would live in if women and men brought this commitment into the places where they worked.

For an alternative view see here.