5 ways to let go of summer holiday guilt and enjoy family faith moments as they come

The summer holidays are here. Six whole weeks of freedom from school, rhythms and routines! The kids are excited, but what about the parents and carers? This is often a time of extra challenge and tension - not just the extra juggle or work and childcare or the loss of your normal groups and activities for those with under-fives, but the pressure to ‘make every summer count’; to make it memorable and meaningful.

I wonder whether as Christian parents we can feel this even more keenly? So many extra faith-building activities we could do with all that ‘free’ time. Should we book them into that holiday club or buy a summer devotional or copy that Christian influencer mum? If the thing we care about most is our kids’ faith, then that should be our focus, shouldn’t it!?

God isn’t measuring your summer plans and activities

The problem with ‘should’ thinking is it can cause pressure. We start to feel guilty or look at other families who seem to be ‘getting it right’. And before long, our focus narrows to the shoulds. I know that for me, as soon as that happens, I feel paralysed! It stops me enjoying and joining in with what God is already doing.

God isn’t measuring your summer plans and activities. He’s inviting you into sharing and showing your own relationship with Him with your children and helping them to notice and connect with Him as part of whatever they’re doing that day. The shift that frees us from this pressure is to stop asking the question ‘What should I be doing spiritually this summer?’ and start asking ’What’s God already doing?’.

The reality of the holidays is there is less routine, more unstructured time, more emotional ups and downs and a mix of travel, family visits, boredom and discovering new things. These naturally open opportunities to grow in faith without having to do more. Staying up late might give space for your child to ask a question that’s been on their mind that the you can help them explore. Being outside more or visiting new places might give opportunities to enjoy what God’s made and chat to Him about that. Sibling arguments can create opportunities to work through anger and forgiveness with God. For most families, the summer doesn’t need more pre-planned and prepared spiritual activities. God’s already busy – and when we notice what’s happening, we’ll discover plenty of moments where we can help our kids grow in faith.

You don’t need to be an all-singing, all-dancing spiritual entertainer

You don’t need to be an all-singing, all-dancing spiritual entertainer. You simply need to be a ‘noticer’ and ‘inviter’ of God into family life. That’s God’s original plan for how children and teenagers to get to meet and know Him – in their ordinary everyday family lives – the good bits, the bad bits and the very normal everyday bits. When we sit at home, walk along the road, get up, go to bed (Deuteronomy 6:7) and everything in between. Children and teenagers’ faith doesn’t depend on parental performance or planning. It grows in conversations, little moments, shared experiences - and we’ve plenty of those coming up this summer!

Parenting for Faith teaches parents and carers five key tools that help them spot those moments and help kids figure out more about God, faith and how it all works.

1. Framing

Take the tool of framing for example. We don’t need to create God-moments but notice and name them instead. Framing is all about explaining - helping kids make sense of the world with God in it by tying together the information and truth about God they know with what they are experiencing. It helps them to understand what God is doing in their lives and in the world, how he makes a difference and why he’s relevant. A super simple way to do this is to invite their questions, whilst on a long journey or hanging out at the park or on a beach. Dig into why that question came up and why they’re interested; chat about what we know and what we don’t; and share your personal experience of grappling with that issue.

2. Creating windows

Creating Windows is probably the easiest of the tools to use. It’s about letting kids or teens see or hear a bit of what your relationship with God looks like, so they can learn how to have their own relationship too. In the holidays you often spend more time together and they see or hear things that they wouldn’t otherwise.

Lean into that by playing a Christian podcast on a speaker instead of headphones; asking God for help out loud rather than in your head when you’re lost in a new place; or letting them stay up and see what your adult home group looks like. Kids and teenagers don’t need or want to see a performance of faith, but a glimpse of a real one.

Read more:

How Christian teens can make the most of their post-GCSE summer

6 ways Christian parents can help children with additional needs thrive this summer

Summer Is the perfect time for encouraging Bible reading in your family

3. Unwinding

Holidays are also a great chance to explore how other people do or see things differently. You may get to go to church new or watch someone else’s service online. This can be an amazing way to see how different churches and styles shape the way people connect with God and unwind any unbalanced views your kid has picked up.

Maybe your church is very relaxed and informal, and you visit somewhere incredibly beautiful with a lot of drama in the service and awaken their sense of awe and wonder at God. Or perhaps you watch a service online and notice that they pray about more global issues than local ones and that broadens your teen’s perspective of what God cares about. Enjoy the questions and opportunities that being in new places (online or in person) creates and let that broaden your child’s view of God.

4. Chat and catch

Prayer can also be a normal and natural part of the summer holidays. At Parenting for Faith, we call it ’chat and catch’. Chatting to God about anything, anytime, anywhere and being ready to receive his responses. On a walk, on a train, in the car, at bedtime, waiting in a queue… you can throw out ideas of things your kids can tell God, show him or share with him and questions to ask him. If they’re used to prayer following a set pattern or happening at specific times this can really open a two-way conversation.

Holidays aren’t a spiritual test; they are a space where things are shaken up a bit and that’s often a great place for faith to grow

5. Surfing the waves

The fifth tool Parenting for Faith offers is ‘Surfing the Waves’ – this is about noticing where a child’s interest, emotions or curiosity are going and supporting them with that. Holidays naturally give more space for this. Maybe they’re outraged by something they hear on the news – let them share a petition or chat to God about it or raise money to combat it. Maybe they hear a new song that they love, they can create a worship playlist and have it on around the house. Perhaps they notice someone at church who doesn’t know many people – you can arrange to meet them at the park. It’s so much easier to follow rather than force spiritual direction!

Parents and carers, please don’t feel you have to pack your summer with more faith activities. But feel free to enjoy the moments to connect with God. Share and show that to your children and invite them to connect with Him too. Holidays aren’t a spiritual test; they are a space where things are shaken up a bit and that’s often a great place for faith to grow. Let’s remove the ‘shoulds’ to create room for connection with each other and with God.