Sara Taylor encourages Christian parents to help their young people resist comparing themselves to others and instead lean into what really matters
In summertime, social media floods with images of ‘glow-ups’, smoothie cleanses, intense workouts, miracle beauty products, and wellness routines promising an idealised version of health and happiness. At first glance, setting a goal of becoming healthier and happier seems harmless. But scratch beneath the surface, and you’ll quickly see that the wellness industry, far from being about well-being, is a multi-billion-pound machine built on selling us the promise of improvement while profiting off our insecurities. The cost of buying into this cycle, financially, emotionally, and mentally, is significant, and it’s time we ask: who’s really benefiting from this culture?
The price of prom perfection
For many, the pressures begin with prom season. What was once a modest school dance has transformed into an extravagant affair, influenced by American traditions and amplified by social media. Recently, I watched my 16-year-old niece leave for her prom. She looked stunning, but it wasn’t her beauty alone that struck me. It was the immense pressure to meet society’s polished, image-driven standard. Prom isn’t just a celebration anymore; it’s a performance. A carefully curated, Insta-ready moment.
‘promflation’ sees families spending up to £700 on dresses, accessories, and even renting limousines
In the UK, ‘promflation’ sees families spending up to £700 on dresses, accessories, and even renting limousines or helicopters. This financial strain can lead to feelings of exclusion among students whose families cannot afford such luxuries. This ‘glow-up’ culture permeates teen life, from beauty routines to fitness challenges. Parents, too, feel the weight of this pressure, with teens pushed to invest in beauty products, clothing, and experiences marketed as the key to happiness and success.
The relentless pursuit of validation
Now, don’t get me wrong. The phenomenon of social conformity is nothing new. Psychologist Elliot Aronson (2011) highlighted how people adjust their behaviour to fit in. When I was a teenager, the desire to have the latest trainers was real, but the pressure that came with it was left in the playground. Now, it follows you home.
Today’s teens face the added weight of validation online. Platforms like Instagram and TikTok perpetuate a cycle where external validation is the ultimate goal, and this pressure is 24/7. It’s no longer enough to look good at an event or wear the right clothes; every moment, every experience, must be documented and shared with the world and curated to perfection.
Take my recent holiday to Ibiza, for instance. I attended a glamorous pool party that seemed like the perfect recipe for a fun day. But as I took in the crowd, I noticed something that disturbed me. The VIP beds, premium spots for lounging, were often left empty. Not because the event was quiet, but because many couldn’t afford them. Instead, groups of 18-25-year-olds huddled by the pool’s edge, searching for the best flawless photo opportunity.
Parents need to help their children navigate the growing trend of external validation, teaching them that true happiness comes from within, not from the pursuit of performance
One lad loudly announce he was buying a VIP bed, clearly to impress his friends and the girls around him. Moments later, he sheepishly backtracked when he realised the cost. The pressure to project wealth and status was palpable. Similarly, group of six girls bought a €75 jug of alcohol so they could pose with the trademark orange plastic wine glasses. Once they got the perfect Instagram shot, they huddled together to calculate how much each person owed for their share. Their happiness hinged on presenting a persona online, not enjoying the moment.
These young people weren’t seeking fulfilment, but approval. It wasn’t about living in the moment but creating a performance that could be broadcast to an audience. Society has created a culture where validation is driven by external approval, and social media has made that pressure more pervasive than ever. Parents need to help their children navigate the growing trend of external validation, teaching them that true happiness comes from within, not from the pursuit of performance.
The Tiktokification effect
Let’s be honest, the wellness industry has capitalised on this pressure, promising beauty, health, and happiness. It preys on our insecurities, making us feel incomplete and pushing us to chase unattainable ideals, often at the cost of our finances and mental well-being. Despite God’s promise in John 10:10, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full”, social media platforms like TikTok remain fertile ground for transforming wellness into an industry. Get ready with me (GRWM) videos, beauty hacks, and fitness challenges flood our feeds through influencers, selling the idea that happiness and success can be bought through the right products, routines, and rituals. The goal isn’t health; it’s external validation.
The pressure to conform is financially and emotionally exhausting. Beauty products and wellness routines are marketed relentlessly. And yet, once you purchase these items, you’re immediately told that the next, better thing is just around the corner. The wellness industry thrives on this sense of never being enough, always needing something more to reach the ideal. Why? Because that is profitable.
The hidden cost of empty promises
It’s easy to brush off this lucrative marketing scheme as part of modern life, but the costs are far more profound than we realise. Financially, it’s draining, but emotionally, it’s even more destructive. Teens internalise the message that their worth is tied to how they look, how much they spend, and how well they conform to trends. The result is a mental health crisis, with rising rates of anxiety, depression, and body dysmorphia.
Read more:
When Sephora meets Scripture: Helping our girls see true beauty
Addicted, anxious and online: What every Christian parent needs to know about social media and wellbeing
The pursuit of ‘glow-up’ trends and beauty products feeds into the false promise that happiness can be bought. This is the essence of hedonic happiness, seeking satisfaction through external validation, surface-level pleasure, and momentary experiences. True happiness, the kind that lasts, is not about accumulating possessions or gaining approval. It’s rooted in eudemonic happiness, finding meaning, purpose, and fulfilment in authentic, lasting values.
It’s time to teach our kids what really matters
The distinction between wellness and true well-being is significant. While the wellness industry focuses on superficial improvements, as Christians, we are called to something deeper: shalom. Shalom is not just the absence of conflict; it’s a state of wholeness, peace, and flourishing in every area of life; physical, emotional, and spiritual.
Parents must guide their children toward this vision of well-being, rather than chasing fleeting trends. True shalom doesn’t come from the latest product; it comes from a life rooted in God’s peace, purpose, and presence. Philippians 4:7 reminds us, “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Parents need to teach their children that peace, fulfilment, and happiness come from their identity in Christ, not from external validation or material gain
Parents need to teach their children that peace, fulfilment, and happiness come from their identity in Christ, not from external validation or material gain. Instead of pursuing wellness trends, they are called to pursue a peace that lasts, grounded in Christ’s love and presence, as John 14:27 says: “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.”
Fear not, it isn’t all bad news. Social media isn’t inherently negative, and many wellness products can be beneficial when used mindfully. The key lies in how we engage with them. To help you navigate this balance, here’s a reflection task:
This week, observe how often you or your children encounter messages of perfection or comparison. Set a task for yourself to notice these moments, whether it’s through social media, advertising, or conversations, and reflect on how it impacts your mindset. At the end of the week, take some time to consider what you’ve noticed and how you can reshape those influences in your home.
By becoming more aware of these pressures, parents can help their children move away from external validation and towards a deeper, more lasting sense of peace and fulfilment rooted in shalom.
