Tim Morfin OBE: “Parenting was overwhelming and beautiful all at the same time”

Tim, why don’t you tell us a bit about your upbringing?

I was born in Beverley in East Yorkshire and grew up on the edge of Hull with my mum, dad and two younger sisters. Dad worked in property for the local authority, Mum was at home until we were in primary school, then worked part time as an administrator.

My parents planted and helped lead a church on a housing estate called Bransholme in the late 1960s, so much of my childhood was shaped by church life – kids’ work, youth groups, outreach. Saturdays often meant helping at church, fixing things, or preparing for holiday Bible clubs. I remember knocking on doors with mum and dad, inviting families along.

That background gave me a love for the local church, an appreciation for hospitality and a sense of leadership, which I see now as something God has gifted me with. I saw dad planting and leading, and Mum opening our home with her gift of hospitality. One Christmas Day, they even invited our notoriously grumpy neighbour – the one who used to threaten to call the police if we rode bikes on the pavement – to join us for lunch. At the time I couldn’t understand it but looking back it showed me that what they preached on Sunday, they lived out during the week.

After studying in Bradford, I stayed on – never expecting to – and worked at GlaxoSmithKline for nine years. But out of my involvement in a small church with a heart for the community, TLG began. We opened a youth club, met kids facing tough issues, and slowly the ministry grew.

And what about family life now?

I met my wife, Rae, in 1997 when she came to Bradford to train as a teacher. We married in 1999. Our first son, Ben, was born in 2001, and two years later we had twins, Josh and Dan. For nine days we had three children under two! Those early years were chaos but full of joy.

When Ben was born, I left Glaxo to work full-time for TLG. It was a leap of faith – the charity had only one other member of staff and money for six months’ salaries. Rae also left teaching to stay home full time with Ben. It was a big financial drop, but God provided.

What impact did your parents have on your life and faith?

They showed me integrity – that what they believed, they lived. I saw generosity, humility, my dad apologising when he got it wrong. They modelled that following Jesus wasn’t just church on Sundays but everyday choices. That’s been foundational for me.

Were there any family habits that shaped your faith?

Holidays were significant. We’d often stay in my auntie’s caravan on the East Coast, and that’s where Mum and Dad built rhythms of prayer and Bible reading with us. Even as a teenager desperate to rush off to friends, I remember Dad saying, “Tomorrow, you can tell us what you think about this passage.” He pushed me to engage with Scripture for myself.

When you left home for Bradford, did you see things differently from your upbringing?

Yes. Me staying in Bradford long-term was hard for my parents – they’d hoped I’d come back and serve alongside them. There were tears for all of us, but it was part of following Jesus. Mum and Dad have been such amazing champions for me and the ministry of TLG.

Church life was also different. I grew up in a small evangelical church; in Bradford I joined a Pentecostal church. That meant I had to wrestle with theology for myself and own my faith rather than just inherit it.

How have you parented in similar ways to your parents?

The continuity is the heart for Jesus and for those who struggle. Growing up in a church serving on a council owned housing estate, I saw faith lived out in compassion. At TLG it’s the same – starting with kids like Lewis, who at 15 was excluded from school and whose family faced deep hardship.

As parents, we’ve tried to be a close-knit family but not inward-looking. We’ve sought to be inclusive and journey alongside others, often welcoming lodgers to our home

If you could thank your parents for one thing, what would it be?

I’d say the gift of relationship. They transitioned our relationship from parents to friends as I grew up. By 15, I was enjoying that friendship, which gave them real influence in my life. That relational connection has shaped how I parent too.

What are your overriding memories of being a dad?

Parenting has been overwhelming and beautiful. When the twins came home after weeks in hospital, we lasted less than 24 hours before calling in every family member we could to come and stay! For years we only went on holiday with extended family because we needed more hands. It was exhausting but full of precious memories too.

What were your particular challenges as a Christian dad?

Definitely time. I was leading in church and pioneering TLG – both I loved, but both could swallow up everything. The challenge was boundaries: learning when to stop, to trust God rather than my own endless work. As time went by technology made it harder – suddenly I could work anytime, anywhere.

I’ve learned the importance of accepting limits. At TLG we now champion healthy boundaries in work/life balance, in 2019 we were named the Sunday Times Best Charity to Work For, and part of that culture comes from lessons I learned in wider life, including being a husband and a father.

Holidays became key for me and for the ethos at TLG. My kids even coined the phrase “holiday Tim” – the easy-going version of me who doesn’t mind what they order at restaurants and just relaxes. That time together has been crucial.

Looking back, what worked well – and what didn’t – in raising faith in your children?

Our 3 boys are now 24, 22 and 22, and all love Jesus which is a huge blessing. But when it comes to discipleship, I think there is a relationship between us and God that is more like a dotted line, not a solid one. So as parents we can create conditions – rhythms, habits, prayer – but ultimately, it’s between God and them.

So, in that context I think some of the conditions we created that were helpful included a commitment to the gathered church, even when it meant spending the whole service in the crèche. Also, at home, we prayed and read the Bible with them, though often it felt chaotic and futile. Saturday family breakfasts with Bible readings usually involved the boys climbing under the table – but somehow something went in.

We were also intentional about relationships, mixing with families who shared our values. Later, when we realised our church lacked a youth group, we moved to a larger church to give them a peer group. That was a tough decision but the right one.

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A challenge I remember was when Josh, who loves an adventure, decided at 14, he wanted to play rugby on Sundays. For two weeks we dropped him at the club whilst the four of us went on to church without him – but it didn’t sit right. So, Rae & I agreed that I would step down from church leadership to spend Sunday mornings on the touchline. Some people didn’t understand, but I knew it mattered. Josh stayed connected to church when he could, but more importantly, he knew I was with him and championing his choices.

Teenage years stretched me. I’m a boundaries-and-rules parent; Rae is instinctive about relationships. She reminded me again and again: “Keep the connection.” Even when I couldn’t imagine our kids following Jesus, she encouraged us to hold on, to pray, and to stay connected.

The surprise has been how joyful friendship with our adult children is. Ben married his childhood sweetheart last year; Josh spent the summer leading teenagers at Spring Harvest in France; Dan is training as an accountant and leading worship at church. Whenever we’re together, there’s a deep heart connection.

If you could give yourself one piece of advice the day before Ben was born, what would it be?

Keep trusting. There were moments of exhaustion with toddlers, and moments of fear with teenagers heading out into the world. But again and again, it came back to trusting God, trusting each other as parents, and trusting the kids to him.

Rae and I are so different – if parenting had only been my way, it would’ve been a disaster! The creative tension between us has been a gift. At times, especially in the teenage years, we set aside days to pray and fast for one child at a time. Those rhythms of trust have carried us.

Tim Morfin OBE is Founder & Chief Executive of Transforming Lives for Good (TLG)