My marriage has broken down, how can I help my kids stay in the faith?

When the months and years we’ve spent trying to make our marriage work look set to resolve in divorce, we can feel a huge range of different emotions.

We might feel a sense of failure, like we’ve not been able to be the ‘good Christian parent’ we wanted to be for our children. We might feel anxious about the future and how our divorce will impact our children’s faith (and our own). We might feel unsure as to the best way to navigate church as a single-parent family. (To read of one woman’s experience of this, go here.) 

Is it possible not only to find God in such a challenging time, but to help our children find Him too? I believe so – and here’s why.

Divorce is less taboo than you think

Sometimes it can feel as if everyone in our church is happily married and that no one gets divorced.

But this is far from the truth: churches are simply not always very good at talking about the hard bits of marriage. (Here are some ways churches can better support families through separation and divorce.)

The ‘happily married’ couple we see in the pews may actually be hanging on by a thread. The wonderfully wise couple who have been married 50 years might have had a rocky patch decades ago. That godly single man may have gone through a divorce when he was younger. We just never know.

So be brave: be open up to trusted Christian friends. You might be surprised by their empathy, their own experience of a difficult marriage, their loyalty and commitment to journey with you as you navigate this new chapter.

We’re designed to live in community, so gather yours around you – for your sake but also for your children. It might be hard at first to be so vulnerable, but if your priority is that your family thrives through this difficult time, then it’s going to be important to have the support of others.

Does your child have a favourite children’s/youth leader at church who might take them for hot chocolate regularly and mentor them? Is there another trustworthy Christian adult who might pray with and for your child, and be a listening ear for them?

Our video on prayer ministry for children would be a great resource for anyone keen to support your child through this season. It is freely available as part of the Parenting for Faith course.