When family is not straightforward. How to keep God central in a blended family

Whether we live with step-children or a partner who is step-parenting our children, or are parenting alone with children of different parentage, the challenges of blended families are real.

Is it possible, within this environment, to parent our children for faith? And, if so, how?

No family is perfect

You may feel weary with the constant to-ing and fro-ing of your children between homes and families, the battles with an ex-partner, or the tensions with a new one over differing parenting styles. But be encouraged: there is no such thing as a fully functional family. We are all dysfunctional – that’s why we need Jesus!

The Bible tells many stories of imperfect families: Eli’s sons were off the rails (1 Samuel 2), Hosea’s wife was unfaithful multiple times (Hosea), and David’s son raped his own half-sister (2 Samuel 13). Family life has always been hard work.

We might think that we’re giving our child a ‘worse’ model of faith because our marriage didn’t work out – but any challenge our family goes through is an opportunity to point to the perfection of Jesus, and how we need his grace every day. His strength is made perfect in our weakness.

Rather than have our children idolise their seemingly-perfect parents (and then grow up to realise they’re not so perfect), we want them to idolise an actually-perfect God. Creating windows into our imperfections, and how we rely on God’s grace, gives our children a realistic idea of what life with God looks like.