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CLIP: 00:17:32 – 00:24:42 / RATING: 15



It’s a bit of a slow month for new Netflix content, so we’re delving back into its vast database to talk about one of its biggest surprise hits from 2018: To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before (based on the bestselling novel by Jenny Han). What makes it so refreshing is that it not only stars an Asian-American lead, but it is also written and directed by women.

The story follows 16-year-old Lara Jean, who lives with her two sisters and widowed father. Lara Jean is not a particularly popular girl at school and doesn’t have much of a social life. In fact, she spends most Saturday evenings watching Golden Girls with her younger sister Kitty.

Kitty eventually decides she has had enough, and after discovering five unsent love letters to Lara Jean’s previous crushes she decides to post them all out, alerting the boys to her sister’s current or

previous affections. Soon we see fake relationships, gossip spread on Instagram, jealous ex-friends and real-life crushes turning into love.

The clip for this session takes place relatively early in the film.

Having established that Lara Jean is living a rather stilted lifestyle, we see the immediate aftermath of her secret letters being mailed out

to the five crushes by her younger sister. While running in a PE class, Lara Jean is interrupted by Patrick, who brandishes one of the love letters, which contains statements such as “you have golden specks in your eyes”. Lara Jean then sees her older sister’s ex-boyfriend arrive, also holding one of her letters. Panicking, she kisses Patrick in a bid to imply that they are together and runs away.



After showing the clip as a stimulus, break into small discussion groups (you may wish to have a designated discussion leader in each group) and discuss the following questions:


  • How do you think Lara Jean feels when she discovers her letters have been sent out?
  • Is it always right to share your feelings with someone? Or should some things stay secret?
  • Is Kitty (the younger sister) right to send out the letters?
  • Does the film portray a realistic picture of what it is like to be a young person who has ‘crushes’ today?


Read through Psalm 37:1-10 (or the whole psalm if time permits), then return to your groups to discuss the next set of questions:


  • Is it right to use the Bible as a tool to help us deal with issues such as fancying someone?
  • Is it important that someone you fancy or are in a relationship with shares the same beliefs and lifestyle as you?
  • Do you think verse 4 includes romantic relationships?
  • How could the first ten verses be used as practical advice for someone who is struggling with relationships at the moment?


If you have time, watch the whole of To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before to see the clip in context.

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