Sometimes, as Christian parents, we can be so obsessed about our children’s future that we miss what God is doing in the present - Robin Barfield explains
What do you want to be when you grow up?
Have you ever asked your children this? I have, and I often receive funny answers in response. Growing up, I wanted to be a cement mixer lorry driver. The thought of driving around in a big truck that mixes concrete was a 5-year-old boy’s dream! If you are anything like me, and you may not be, you spend time wondering what a child will be like as an adult. We look forward to imagining what the Lord may have in store for them and how they might use the gifts he has given them.
The danger here is that we lose sight of who the child is now and what they are capable of in the present
The danger here is that we lose sight of who the child is now and what they are capable of in the present. We only see their potential, and potential can be a perilous thing. Perhaps we think this way about the child’s potential to encounter God. Of course, it is unlikely we would say that they cannot experience God’s love in Jesus just because they are too young. But I wonder if we often behave that way.
We may have different theologies on baptism and whether it is appropriate only to baptise professing believers over the age of 12. We may also have different understandings of what it looks like for a child to be a Christian. However, I would be surprised if you claimed that a child could not meet with Jesus; after all, Jesus called the little children to him. It’s in Scripture.
sometimes we are so focused on preparing the child for the future that we miss the present
Yet sometimes we are so focused on preparing the child for the future that we miss the present. There is an essential part of parenting that prepares us to give a child wings; we need to prepare them to be ready to leave home. Can they cook, clean their clothes, manage their money, work hard, survive socially, and so on? Many teaching materials seem to view this spiritually: let’s prepare them to be able to do daily Bible readings and prayers, to understand the church, to go on mission, to marry well, and so forth. This is important, but perhaps we do this at the expense of who they are now and their spiritual capacities.
The New Testament presents a perspective often called ‘the now and the not yet’; that is, many aspects of the Kingdom exist now, but it will not be fully realised until the future. We should adopt a similar view of our children – they are both ‘now and not yet’; able to encounter Jesus today, but also with a life of faith ahead of them, God willing.
Read more in thsi series:
When your child does something wrong are they to blame, or is it the influence of their friends?
Your child is uniquely gifted by God
Your child is a gift from God
Your child is created by God - If that’s not your starting point then you’ve got a problem
Perhaps if you recognise this tendency in yourself, as I do in myself, pause and take a moment to consider who your child is now. As you open the Bible with your children, perhaps at tea-time or bedtime, observe those moments where you can sense their awareness of Jesus. Maybe it’s in their natural curiosity, enthusiasm, or the way they seem to grasp who Jesus is effortlessly. Cherish those times and help your child to cherish them too. This deep faith that a child can have presents a challenge to us as parents—to stop always trying to impose things, to allow God to work at his pace, not ours, and to rest in the moment when they come.
Let me share a story with you. Recently, during a moment of worship, a little three-year-old girl became restless. She started crying out to her mum while sitting on her knee. She was disturbing the peaceful atmosphere of the moment. No one tutted, although perhaps others thought it, I couldn’t tell you. She saw the bread and wanted some. ‘MUM, I WANT SOME BREAD!’ I suspect her mother sensed the disruption her daughter was causing and moved her away. But part of me wanted to bring her back and say, ‘Here! Here is an example of what it means to desire Christ’s body in the Lord’s supper. This is what it looks like to earnestly long for the bread of heaven. Look and learn.’
So often, in our desire for them to be older and more able, we miss who they are now and their ability to long for Jesus unembarrassedly.
