4 things Christian parents can do to build a good relationship with youth and children’s leaders

What’s your relationship like with the people that lead the youth and children’s ministry in your church? Maybe it works fine. Maybe it doesn’t. Whatever your experience, I want to suggest that fostering a good partnership with the leaders of the youth and children’s ministry in your church is vital for the formation of faith in your children and young people. When the partnership works well it creates a powerful network and context for your children and young people to come to understand more about Jesus. But what might help foster such a partnership? Here are four things you can do and two things you should expect.

Things you can do

1. Get to know them

Have a conversation with the children’s, youth or family minister about their work. Sometimes parents can be a bit anonymous. Dropping kids off, picking kids up and apart from a quick ‘Hi’ disappearing pretty swiftly. When the opportunity presents itself, maybe over coffee after a Sunday service, ask them how they are doing. Try not to make it all about what your own child or young person is (or isn’t) getting out of being part of the church ministry with children and young people but seek to get to know the worker better. The more, as parents, we know how they tick - the way they see life and ministry, the greater potential for a partnership that will flourish as trust grows.

Have the youth or children’s minister on your prayer list

2. Pray for them

Have the youth or children’s minister on your prayer list. Ministry is tough, juggling the demands of church leadership, congregation, young people, expectations, oh and parents - but go further, ask them if there is anything they would like prayer for or need prayer for right now? It could be ministry related, could be life stuff that gives you insight and empathy.

Getting to know them and praying for them will lead to greater understanding and appreciation of the work, effort, grit, frustration and joy of being a children’s or youth minister. It might also lead you to consider this next one.

3. Join In with them

How can you support the ministry? It might be that you would love to join in as a volunteer on the team (check with your own children, young people that they would be happy with that!). As a parent, you bring experience and a perspective that many children’s and youth ministry teams lack. It also says something to your own child / children - you value the ministry being offered, you value it so much you want to join in. You are also saying the same to the youth or children’s minister. It can sometimes be tricky - be conscious or your bias (either for your child where you show favouritism, or you try so hard not to that you don’t look at them or talk to them for the whole a youth club night) but in many places I have seen this work brilliantly. It might even be that the youth or children’s minister would love to ask you but are assuming it will be a no - get in there first with your offer!

what makes a massive difference to the youth minister and team are just a few words. ‘Thank you so much

4. Say Thank You to them

Picture the scene, as a youth minister you arrive back from a camp where you have barely slept for 5 nights, in tow are exhausted volunteers and 20+ young people eager to get home to shower and unload their washing. You rock up as a parent, maybe you have been waiting for ages - so are frustrated that the coach took ages, maybe you are late - and the youth minister has to hang around with a volunteer and your child until you eventually arrive to pick them up. You might also have been there bang on time. regardless, whether you are tetchy or chilled or frazzled - what makes a massive difference to the youth minister and team are just a few words. ‘Thank you so much for taking my son away, I’m sure he has loved - now go and get a well-earned rest - oh, and this is just a token of our thanks’ (you are handed a box chocolates. It just takes a bit of thought - it doesn’t cost much, and the alternative? You come across as if you are taking this all for granted and whilst youth ministers aren’t in it for the plaudits, it feels great to know we are appreciated!

Now, let’s flip it because in a partnership, there are things you should also be expecting from the children’s and youth ministry team.

Things you should expect

1. Regular communication

You shouldn’t have to ask what is happening and when or what the programme is. The youth worker or children leaders should make sure there is termly communication about themes and dates, and any trips, dates and costs should be published well in advance and your questions should be welcomed as should a chat about any concerns that you may have.

Read more:

6 ways to help your child beat the post summer blues and thrive in church and youth group after camp

How Christian parents can help their children when they lie

Solo parenting can be a lonely job but there are ways through

2. Home life championed

Home and Church are not in competition, and the reality is - however amazing the youth ministry is, at most youth and children’s ministers might be spending 3 - 4 hours at weekends and midweek with children and young people, the rest of them time - when not at school or hanging out with friends - most young people are at home. The home matters to children and young people and, for many, it is a place where they are most happy and feel most secure (whilst acknowledging for some, this is not the case). There shouldn’t be a wrestle between the two, there should be a recognition from youth and children’s workers and leaders that home and family life are important and that parents have the primary role when it comes to the nurture of faith and growth.

Effective partnership between parents and the children’s and youth ministry can be one of the most significant drivers to the church being a place where children and young people can flourish, knowing there is holistic support and wrap around care. As a parent, don’t wait to be invited - get involved!