Solo parenting can be a lonely job but there are ways through

If you’ve ever felt that ache of being unseen, even in a crowded room, you know how loneliness can sneak in when you least expect it. Maybe it’s walking a quiet path with nothing but the horizon ahead. Maybe it’s scrolling through social media, where “Insta life” whispers that everyone else is happier. Or maybe it’s standing in the middle of your own living room, surrounded by people, and feeling invisible - the silent struggle of modern loneliness.

The Bible tells us in Psalm 139:18, “When I awake, I am still with You.” Even when loneliness creeps in, God is already there.

You may have heard about the loneliness epidemic. It is the widespread rising levels of chronic loneliness and social isolation across many parts of society. It is now seen as a health issue rather than a social one. It saw a rise during covid due to the restrictive measures of contact that were put in place. But it has also worsened due to the impact of technology on our everyday life. The increased presence of social media and smart phones means that we have never been more digitally connected and more relationally apart at any point in time. One recent report showed that 72% of young adults experienced loneliness.

No one warns you that when your marriage ends, it’s not just your partner you lose, it’s the people

When I was a solo parent, I experienced times of extreme loneliness. No one warns you that when your marriage ends, it’s not just your partner you lose, it’s the people. The friends who once filled your home with laughter, the ones you thought would always be there. Some disappear quietly, unsure how to be around the “newly single you.” The dinner invites stop. The days out fade.

And even when a few kind souls still knock on your door, you often have to say, “I can’t” because when you’re raising your children alone, you carry the whole world on your shoulders, and your priorities shift overnight. Loneliness doesn’t always come from being alone. Sometimes it comes from being forgotten.

Most of the time I didn’t feel alone, especially when the children were small. My days were crammed with school runs, homework, church, after-school clubs, work, bedtime routines, and milestones like potty training and learning to ride a bike. But every now and then, in the middle of the beautiful chaos, the deepest loneliness would catch me off guard.

I sat there, brew in hand, quietly watching them play. And then like a sucker punch it hit me. One day, I’m preparing them to leave me

One summer holiday stands out. We often went camping as our main family holiday. That year, the children were old enough to roam the campsite a little. We were pitched across from the playground, and soon they made new friends. They asked to go and play, and I agreed, setting boundaries about staying where I could see them. They skipped away, probably feeling ten feet taller with this new-found freedom. I was happy for them. I’d even prayed before the trip that they’d make little holiday friends.

I sat there, brew in hand, quietly watching them play. And then like a sucker punch it hit me, I’m preparing them to leave me. Just like that, the space around me felt empty.

Now, in my head, I know the truth. Being a parent is about keeping them safe, helping them grow, and cheering them on as they step into the world without you. That’s the goal. But in that moment? The ache of it swept in like a wave, and I wasn’t ready for it.

Back then, my kids were still little. We still had a good ten years before I’d even have to think about them leaving home. But the loneliness still wrapped around me, heavy and relentless; like trying to breathe underwater.

So, I prayed. I asked God to lift the weight, to meet me in the ache. And somehow, deep in the quiet, something shifted. The loneliness didn’t own me anymore.

Remember, feelings are like waves. We can’t stop them from coming, but we can choose which ones to ride

If you, like me, are reading this and can relate to the emotion of loneliness, particularly if you are a solo parent currently holidaying with your children; let me speak to your soul for a moment. You are not alone. The Bible tells us numerous times that God is with us. Some of my favourite verses are Isaiah 41:10 ‘So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.’ Jesus tells us in Matthew 28:20 ‘surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.’ And Psalms 139:18 talks about ‘when I awake, I am still with you’. And if you are in the middle of a family breakdown, Psalms 27:10 says, ‘even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will hold me close’.

Be kind to yourself. Solo parenting is hard work, physically, emotionally and spiritually. Try to do things that fill your bucket. That might change as your children grow. When mine were small, I cherished the silence after bedtime. Later, I loved taking a day off work for a long walk.

breathe it all in. Chase the moments that make you smile. Let the sun warm your face, and the laughter of your children sink deep into your heart

As they grow more independent, you might join a group. Are you interested in running, a book club, or a small group at church? Finding your own interests apart from parenting can help rebuild your confidence and connection.

Remember, feelings are like waves. We can’t stop them from coming, but we can choose which ones to ride. Don’t cling so tightly to your children that you hold them back from becoming all God created them to be.

Don’t retreat into a shell. Don’t listen to the doubts in your head. Instead chose to listen to the God who created you and called you by name. Isaiah 43:1 reminds us, ‘Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.’

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Get outdoors and into nature. For me, being outside is where I connect with God the most. Seeing the beauty of creation, I am reminded of his presence. And as I move my body, those happy endorphins rise up, lifting my mood and steadying my heart.

So, breathe it all in. Chase the moments that make you smile. Let the sun warm your face, and the laughter of your children sink deep into your heart. Life moves quickly, and little hands don’t stay small forever. But through every season, no matter what your emotions whisper, you are never walking alone.