Anyway, I’ve got a theory about difficult or annoying young people as well. My theory is this: there are four types of difficult teenagers. Firstly, there’s the young person who tries to be a rebel in order to look cool in front of the group. They give ‘hilarious’ answers to your questions in attempt to look oh-so-smug and superior. But the reality is that this young person is acting so out of character and is so bad at being bad that they’re not annoying at all, but instead charming in an it’s-so-adorable-how-lamethey- are kind of way.
Secondly, there’s the young person who is genuinely annoying but in a funny way. This is a tricky one. They’re trying to undermine what you’re doing. The problem is that they’re really good at it and a decent chunk of you, the youth worker, finds them hilarious and has shut them up, while laughing on the inside.
Thirdly, there’s the young person that you really like but is really annoying and illdisciplined. Here’s the thing about these young people: every young person thinks this is who they are, but I’m not sure they truly exist. I definitely thought this was me – I was loud, I was annoying, but I was HILARIOUS and my attempts to disrupt the group definitely added to the dynamic and everyone thought I was great. At least that’s what I thought. In reality, I was a complete pain in the group’s collective backside.
Finally, there’s the young person we really, really, genuinely, absolutely struggle with: the one that’s a genuine, disruptive pain, without the redemptive attribute of being sneakily hilarious. We don’t really talk about this young person. In fact, they never get talked about. So we got our best man on the job, and this month, Martin Saunders launches his new regular column, The Elephant Room: the place where we’ll discuss the issues in youth ministry that never, ever get talked about.
One of the most important aspects of youth ministry is seeking out those young people who are difficult to love, and often unloved by the rest of society. This month’s issues also features a look at youth work in prisons, from the team at Frontier Youth Trust (p.20). While those young people behind bars might have done wrong, they’re also statistically likely to have come from tough situations and are desperately in need of someone to believe in them. Just like those young people in your group that you’d rather you could lock up, they are full of potential and need someone to unlock and channel that potential.
When I look back at my teenage years, I know that my youth workers had to make a genuine choice to like and persevere with me. I was nowhere near as funny or charming as I thought I was. But somehow, in the midst of my interruptions and rude jokes, a youth worker saw something in me and ploughed through my bolshie teenage attitude to invest in me.
I’ve got another theory: there is no group of people better at seeing through the rubbish that young people project than youth workers. There’s also no group of people more willing to wade through that rubbish with teenagers, knowing that at the other end lies the amazing, God-given potential inside each and every one of them. This year, which young people will you deliberately invest in?
