HOVER PARKS
Research* suggests that 87 per cent of all youth work in the 80s and 90s took place in skate parks. It’s where ‘the youth’ were, and as Richard Passmore had told us to ‘meet them where they’re at’ (we realise this was actually in the early 2000s), that’s where youth work went. But that was never going to last… soon, very soon those outdated skateparks would be replaced by hover parks, a space where young people could hone their hoverboard skills… TO THE MAX!
(*Not real research)
ROBOT YOUTH WORKERS
Anyone with a basic understanding of Isaac Asimov will know his three laws of robotics:
- A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
- A robot must obey the orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
- A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Laws
Could youth workers be replaced by robots? In the 80s, people thought everything was going to be replaced by robots: doctors, lawyers, teachers, supermarket staff (THE FUTURE IS HERE!), so youth workers fitted in nicely. If programmed correctly, why not? Simply add in the four key principles of youth ministry (voluntary participation, equality of opportunity, informal education and empowerment) and you’ve got a ready-made, culturally relevant, impervious to burnout youth worker.
SPACE FOOD
There has been much speculation about what ‘future food’ will look and (more importantly) taste like. Remarkably, some of Back to the Future 2’s food dreams have been realised – who wouldn’t want to conduct their youth group amid ‘Pepsi Perfect,’ large boxes of Graham Crackers (effectively a funny shaped Digestive**) and dehydrated-pizza-flavoured crisps?
Large quantities of (often) sub-standard junk food are consumed on a regular basis by swarms of hungry teenagers but what if youth workers had alternative food at their disposal?
Wouldn’t it be marvellous if a cheap, tasty morsel was created which emitted such an irresistible smell that it drew young people from far and wide through the open church doors? Or perhaps a biscuit which filled up even the largest rugby lad while simultaneously providing a super-human alertness, ensuring the entire youth group was listening and learning. Or what about a delicious drink which released a toxin (or rather, a good version of it) which lowered ‘evil desires (lust, alcohol cravings, violent tendencies) and heightened ‘the Fruit of the Spirit?’
(**Other malty biscuit varieties are available)
Youth work has taken many guises over the years but whatever its external outworking (cheesy 80s power ballads, chats over lattes, conversations constructed solely through social media), the heart behind our work will remain the same: to disciple and strengthen our young people in their relationship with God, encouraging them in their own walk and helping them introduce their friends to their saviour.
We have it on good (ish) authority that youth work in 30 years will be out of this world. Not only will we be hanging in hover parks and consuming invisible space food alongside robot youth workers, we will all be doing it from the safety of our floating sofa. But then again, they probably said all this 30 years ago, so no doubt we’ll be running small groups and chatting over games of FIFA 2045.
