I’m now in my eleventh year in full-time Church youth ministry and the eighth in my current church. There are many lessons that have been learned over this time, in a wide range of issues such as God’s Sovereignty, human nature, ministry priorities and a healthy work-life balance. Having looked back recently and reflected on what I’d learned so far and having a continued commitment to youth ministry, I thought through what are some of the values that will underpin my approach going forward. Three key approaches for me are related to how we develop spiritual growth in young people’s lives:
Prioritize heart growth over attendance at events
Sometimes life is easier when people tick the box or are compliant, but it often masks the real issues that we should be thinking about. We can be fooled into believing that as long as a young person turns up to our group each week then they are learning and growing spiritually. Some of the older members of our church talk about how ‘faithful’ certain people are, meaning that they attend Sunday services without fail, as if this is the barometer of success.
Of course, part of being faithful may well include a commitment to Sundays, but only if this includes a true worship and growing in Christ, and sacrificially serving the church. Attendance alone doesn’t indicate a faithfulness to God or His people – it may actually be an indicator of Pharisaism, that the person might think “I’m ok with God” by simply ticking the ‘going to church’ box each week. So I don’t want to simply be happy (or unhappy) about young people’s attendance at my groups. Personal one-to-one times or encouraging young people to step out in faith or serve others give a far greater insight into where someone is spiritually. So it is important that we don’t create ‘Pharisees’ out of our young people, who think that I am pleased or displeased with them depending on whether they simply come along to something (including Sundays). I am much more careful now about what I say when I see a young person after they haven’t come along to church on a particular Sunday (or any other activity). I don’t want to major on the attendance but more on the heart growth of the young person. This takes wisdom and often many different types of approaches – and investing in young people as individuals rather than simply as group members.
Encourage questioning rather than simply giving the right answer
One of the hallmarks of evangelical Christianity is an emphasis on having the right theological answer. I agree that it is important for us to understand and know who God is (as much as this is possible). But surely grappling with God is key to Christian growth. Jacob had to wrestle with God in order to develop a relationship of dependence on him. And it is often the same with us – we question God through difficulties and weakness by wondering if he’s really in control or has our good at heart, and we have times of crises of theology such as wondering how God can be Sovereign at the same time as allowing us to make genuine choices in our lives.
Sometimes we come through these challenges with an ‘answer’ of who God is or what he’s done. But at other times we simply emerge from the struggle into a sense of peace with God and a deeper trust and reliance on him. And that’s what I desire for the young people I work with. It’s much neater and tidier to answer a question with a ‘correct’ answer and insist that someone should be satisfied with ‘the truth’. But this won’t necessarily produce a lifelong and deep personal relationship with their Heavenly Father. So I want to encourage questioning, and to seek God through struggle rather than simply be convinced on an intellectual level.
View each life with a long term perspective
Connected to both points above, I’ve become more and more aware of the need to view each life with a long term perspective. In reading some parenting advice a few years ago, I remember the phrase, “Don’t judge October apples in June.” And this principle is the same in all people work. We wish to see ‘results’ quickly, and whilst we might convince ourselves that this is because God can then be praised for his work in someone’s life, it might actually have more to do with us feeling satisfied that we’ve achieved something noteworthy. I do emphasize with young people the fact that we don’t know how long we will live for – a number of teenagers in our community have died in the 8 years I’ve lived here. But is doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t pick unripe fruit by manipulating a profession of faith that might well not be genuine.
Naturally it would seem more beneficial for someone to turn to Christ in their younger days in order to enjoy God and serve him longer, and (hopefully) to avoid pain and damage that might be inflicted from living against him. But in truth, different people’s spiritual lives go at different paces, and also go up and down in their walk with Christ. So it’s important to have a long term vision and prayer life for the young people we’re working with – what sort of person would we love God to build them into in 10, 20, 30 years’ time? I’m thinking that by looking and praying ahead with this time perspective will affect how I minister to and invest in these lives now. And it also means that I’m more likely to stay in my role long-term to build this vision that God gives. Or at least fulfil my part and handover something that has a purpose that outlives my involvement in it. After all, most people’s lives will go beyond their youth and most probably beyond the time that I will be working with them.
Dave Aarons is youth pastor at Paulsgrove Baptist Church.
