5 steps parents can take to make church work for children with trauma

For families dealing with trauma, church can be overwhelming - Naomi Fox offers real-life advice for building trust, resilience, and welcome for kids who struggle with Sundays

“It reaches Sunday morning and there’s a slight sinking feeling. Although we’ve gone through the fact that it’s church, who will be there, what it will look like, it’s 15 minutes to go and we’re facing refusal again. Drawing on as much of a trauma-informed toolkit as possible we get out the door and get ourselves there. In the building it may be that my constant presence and hug is needed or that I’m ignored whilst my daughter hides under her hood and makes herself as small as possible. Sometimes it goes well, a safe friend is there, a great leader is in charge of the group and we have a morning without incident. Sometimes it’s more challenging and we might have to leave early.” (Sophie – not her real name – parent of an adopted child).

This is a familiar story for many parents and carers of children who have been fostered or adopted or have experienced early childhood trauma. For some, making it into the church building can feel impossible. For others, there can be good and bad days. Either way, as parents there are some practical things we can put in place in order to support our children with accessing church.

we want everyone to be seen, heard and able to belong in church community

We know that God’s heart is for all people, whatever their needs, to be a part of his kingdom and to belong. I am a children’s occupational therapist and have founded Growing Hope , which champions accessibility and provides free therapy for children and young people with additional needs in partnership with local churches across the UK. As an organisation we want everyone to be seen, heard and able to belong in church community. From my experience of working with and parenting children and young people who have experienced trauma, and helping churches to become more accessible, I’d suggest ……