Question #1 Our toddler group has been running for 29 years, but now it is run by the mums and has pretty much lost all contact with the church and its Christian ethos. How can we reintroduce the original aims without upsetting those who currently run it and attend?

It is fantastic that your church has been able to offer a space for children and adults to meet where friendships can be formed and developed, support networks established and strengthened, and experiences shared, as well as offering many positive developmental benefits. Toddler groups can be such a vital part of communities.

It is not easy to implement change, but it is possible; remember, it started as something different and change happened slowly! Likewise, you’ll need to introduce your own changes gradually. Arrange to meet those who are currently involved and those who want to get involved. It is important that, before you do anything, you agree what the aims of the group are. Create short-term and longer-term aims, giving clarity and direction that can be shared. It is important that you review aims regularly to ensure that they are still relevant and that you are still working towards them, as it can be easy to lose where you are going.

Check with your insurance company to ensure that you are meeting their requirements and are therefore covered. For example, the church council will need to receive and accept reports regularly from thet group, so that they formally accept responsibility for activities and ensure that good practice and safeguarding policies are in place and adhered to.

It is also important to consider the ‘bigger picture’ and how the toddler group fits into church life and the overall strategy.

  • Who will be praying for the group?
  • What opportunities are there for nurturing faith and developing relationships?
  • What other services are available and what happens when families come along?

If you’re introducing new leaders to the group, it is important to appoint people who will act as role models, and will chat with and pray for people and be a spare pair of hands, not just serve refreshments. Often groups are short of volunteers and are too busy ‘doing’ having to spend time with those who come. Older members of the congregation who have a wealth of experience to share , can be valuable resources.

Festivals are a perfect starting point. Create a play area to help explore them. Include some books which tell the story in a variety of ways for different ages, toys, items for dress up, sensory and creative play things. If you have a story time together tell the Bible story instead merely highlighting the festival.

Set up a creative prayer area in the room where you meet, giving people the opportunity to offer simple prayers, both with and without words. Make sure you offer guidance to help people to pray.

Over time you can begin to introduce more changes such as a welcome song, a farewell song, regular Bible stories and the opportunity to play or be creative with the story, not just a prescriptive craft activity. Make the prayer area a focus and part of what everyone does.

To enable the toddler group to be an integral part of church life, give out a weekly newsletter with information about church activities and requests for help such as food for a food bank. Use social media to encourage people to think about faith in the home, offer links to ideas and resources for them to do together as a family. Share reminders of things happening in the wider church.

Finally, be confident in being distinctive. As Christians we are called to make disciples. If people are not coming to church on Sundays, how do we enable people, young and old, to encounter God where they are? 

Ellie WIlson is underfives adviser for Wakefield Diocese.

 

Question #2 How do we teach children to stay safe?

A key aspect of safeguarding is helping children to protect themselves from abuse. Teaching children personal safety should always be undertaken in an age-appropriate way and never in a manner that may cause a child distress. Teaching a child personal safety involves letting them recognise what is good and wholesome, but also what is not, and then giving them the confidence to speak out and seek help – without fear of recrimination.

As a matter of course we teach children safety in the home and on the roads. We should also educate them about their personal safety, such as resisting inappropriate touching, how to refuse to keep secrets (when needs be) and how to seek help from adults when required. When helping children with personal safety, always use age-appropriate language. The Bible can be a great aid in this. It also helps us talk to children about their feelings: what makes us happy, scared, angry, upset and confused?

In church, we teach children to be obedient, especially to those in authority. But we must also teach them that it is wrong for a child to be coerced into doing anything immoral, illegal or abusive. While teaching children to respect adults, they must also learn that, if they are being asked to do something that makes them feel uncomfortable, they should check it out with a trusted adult.

We should also help children to differentiate between unsafe secrets and surprises. Being asked to keep a surprise for someone’s birthday, is very different from being asked to keep silent about something that frightens a child.

We can help children by having clear policies and practice procedures, which should include how workers interact with children. Children can benefit from a hug, which provides reassurance when hurt or upset. But touch should be related to the child’s needs, not the worker’s, and all such contact should always be in public.

The sad reality is that children are harmed at all ages, by both men and women, and that children and young people also abuse and bully others. Children are also using the internet at younger and younger ages, so are exposed to online material and experiences that may make them upset. Children therefore need our support, and our Sunday Schools and children’s clubs are well placed to provide this.

Simon Bass is the CEO of Churches’ Child Protection Advisory Service (CCPAS) ccpas.co.uk