3 ways Christian parents can take the lead on healthy smartphone use in their family

Are you and your children struggling to sleep at night? Feeling sluggish? Is anyone beginning to feel a dull aching pain in their thumb and fingers? These are just a few signs that you and your family may be spending too much time on devices, in particular phones. Excessive smart phone use is also connected to depression, anxiety, OCD, ADHD, loneliness, chronic stress, low self-esteem. 48% of people admit to having an addiction to their smartphones, with phone owners clicking, tapping, and swiping an average of 2617 times a day.

Alone this can feel like an impossible uphill climb, but with family, the uphill climb towards less phone addiction, can become a journey of possibility towards better digital health which leads to better mental health, spiritual health and physical health.

Here’s some easy top tips you can adopt as a family in your household to help combat phone addiction.

1. Set phone-use boundaries that everyone agrees to together

Setting boundaries which everyone agrees to, maintains the unity towards a healthier digital life. When the choice comes from the individual to make change, change can come a lot easier. Being forced to do something - especially when you are of an age to make a well-informed decision – can lead to rebellion, or acting out in the opposite way and this is usually down to feeling trapped or lacking desired freedom. This is particularly true during the teenage years. The teenage years are the second most crucial stage of development for your children and making healthy choices early sets them up for success in having a healthier adulthood.

What a child see’s their parents do they are often likely to copy

It’s also shown in studies that habits in the household are usually copied behaviour patterns. Children imitate their parents – particularly during the younger years. What a child see’s their parents do they are often likely to copy. So, adopting shared boundaries together as a family, can lead to better healthier way of living and communicating, thought this will most likely require you to lead the way.

Here are some boundaries you can choose to adopt:

• No phones at mealtimes rule: have a basket or a draw that everyone can put their phones into at mealtimes. This will mean you can introduce a space for open dialogue.
• Weekly screen time checks: it’s worth adopting a time during your week where you look at your screen time together to see how you are improving or not. Create a space of no judgement or shame, but grace to celebrate the wins and try again when we’ve struggled. Monitoring this weekly and consistently creates a practice which helps us keep at the forefront of our minds and can help towards making small changes.

2. Intentional communication

Forbes reported that if we are not careful to make reductions in our online space, Gen Z will need to be re-taught the guides of basic communication. Basic communication - eye contact, speech and dialogue - are essential for navigating through life. Whether that’s going for a job interview, interacting on public transport, or ordering food at a restaurant. These basic functions are being lost to a younger generation and instead social anxiety is on the rise.

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The antidote for this starts at home. By introducing guided conversations – at mealtimes or at a set time in the week - keeps things light and creates space for consistent dialogue around this issue. It improves the basic communication skills and means that everyone can connect in a specific focussed time together whilst reducing screen time.

Some things you may want to speak about during the intentional communication time could include:

• Sharing a favourite Reel/TikTok that made you laugh this week
• Sharing something that you found awkward or difficult online
• Sharing your favourite Bible verse from the Bible app that you read this week

3. Curfews on screen time around bedtimes

Studies show now that the effect between phones and sleeping patterns is growing. In light of this it’s helpful to work towards a more relaxing bedtime routine and discourage activities that lead to anxiety or high emotional responses. They advocate for phones being removed from bedrooms and clocks being used for alarms.

Recently, the BBC did an experiment with a group of teenagers from Bradford who agreed to take all technology out of their bedrooms for five days to see how they would cope. They were given actual clocks, so they had alarms for waking up. And some chose to swap scrolling to reading a book before bed.

And the results were as follows:

• Some teenagers found they spent more time with their families and watching documentaries instead of online videos on their phones in their rooms.
• One of the teenagers found that were no longer procrastinating activities they needed to do and were more productive with baking and learning ballet.
• Another teenager found their social life increased with spending more time in person and going out instead of being on their phone.

By introducing some of these healthy habits as a family, it can lead to families cultivating a shared experience creating stronger bonds as a household.