Moms on the Way is an excellent Bible study that sparked rich conversation and genuine spiritual hunger among a group of church women. However, gathering the group raised an uncomfortable question for Joanne Gilchrist about who belongs in a “mums-only” space — and whether the body of Christ can afford to draw such boundaries.
Having been asked to review the new Bible study book from Kathy Tuan-Machean and Tara Edelschick Moms on the Way (InterVarsity Press), I decided to gather a group of mums from church with the promise of good coffee and homemade scones to sweeten the deal.
But there was a problem. Gone are the days when my entire church social circle consisted of other baby and toddler mums – yes, there was a time this was true! – and now I could think of several women who would love to come along to a Bible study. However, not only weren’t they mums, but they were devastated about not yet being mums.
I could see two options. I invite them anyway, downplay the “mum” angle and give them the choice, but risk causing them emotional pain simply by asking. Alternatively, I don’t let them know about it and risk them being even more hurt if they found out anyway.
I couldn’t even ask their opinion without causing them hurt.
It made me question if this was even a suitable scenario, to have a “mum only” space in our church, its very existence adding pain to those who are already grieving.
Five-star study
The Bible study itself was excellent. Five-star quality. Time flew by as we worked our way through week one of Moms on the Way, delving deep into the Bible with thoughtful questions and insightful commentary. The women who came along were so excited to be asked – they didn’t even need the bribery of afternoon tea, they were simply hungry for connection over the word of God with other church mums.
Most of us had kids who were teenagers or adults and, even though there were only six of us, our parenting journeys included adoption, unemployment (for the children), ADHD and ASD/C, self-harm and other devastating mental health struggles. Everyone appreciated the time and space to talk, read the word and pray.
I really like the format of Moms on the Way, too. The 20-minute video (with easy access QR code) was the perfect start to break down barriers and ease us in, and this was where most of the “mom” content lay. The rest of the Bible study wasn’t particularly focussed on mom stuff, but all about Jesus – as it should be.
Everyone appreciated the time and space to talk, read the word and pray.
At the end of the study, the trio of “Breath Prayers”, “Holy Spirit Check-In” and a “Leader Benediction” were new concepts to me, but worked really well to close the official Bible study bit, before we had another coffee and scone.
The seven days of homework were optional because the book is £14.99 and that’s not affordable for everyone. However, it reminded me fondly of the many Beth Moore Bible studies I’ve done over the years, so I know from experience it’s worth taking the time to do the homework if you can afford it. I see it as an investment into my own spiritual well-being.
Feedback from others in the group was 100% positive, with women saying they hadn’t realised just how much they’d needed something like this and asking when can we do it again.
Extending the invitation
But back to my original question. Is it important to have “mum-only” Bible studies in church? Is that an important space to protect, despite the risk of hurting others’ feelings, or should we be more flexible?
When I was a new mum, these kind of support networks were vital to my own mental and spiritual health. At that early stage of motherhood, they were lifelines.
But when I think about it, I realise my support network wasn’t only made up of other new mums, but also included older women whose children had grown and women without children, who reminded me there was more to life than my babies. The body of Christ is so diverse and the hand can’t say to the foot “I don’t need you.” (1 Corinthians 12:21)
My support network wasn’t only made up of other new mums.
In fact, one of my “non-mum” friends has been a spiritual mother to my daughter this past year. Surely, her voice as a woman who longs to be a mother, but isn’t, is a valid part of the conversation? Isn’t it legitimate to say, ”I’d love to be a mum. I’m not right now and I don’t know if I ever will be. But I’d love to explore motherhood in the Bible with other women in my church”? Isn’t that a valid voice in this space, albeit a painful one? And what are these spaces, if not places to share struggles, encourage one another and pray for each other at every step on the journey?
So next time, will I only invite mums or will I extend the invitation more widely?
