Throughout the years that we’ve been involved in children’s ministry, we’ve had parents and grandparents ask us countless questions.
‘What do you do to make sure my kids understand that Jesus died for their sins?’ ‘Why don’t you teach more memory verses?’ ‘How do you ensure that my children are learning about the Bible?’
During these conversations with parents and carers, one theme has regularly popped up. It deals with learning; with gaining cognitive information about spiritual matters like the Bible, the Church, God and salvation. Concern about this seems to stem from an assumption that children’s ministry ought to focus on helping children learn about spiritual and religious matters.
More than acquisition of knowledge
Since Robert Raikes began educating youngsters in the slums of England in the latter part of the eighteenth century, Sunday school has been a staple of children’s religious education and spiritual formation. Although its popularity has ebbed and flowed over the years, countless churches continue to rely on Sunday school (or offshoots such as children’s liturgy or children’s church) as the primary means of offering young people Christian education as well being the main congregational activity for children.
While Sunday school certainly has done much to help children learn about the Bible and Christian living, it often segregates children from the wider faith community. By dropping children off at Sunday school classrooms while the rest of the congregation gathers for worship, churches send implicit messages to children that what matters most about being Christian is learning the right things. As Gretchen Wolff Pritchard bluntly states, Sunday school tends to assume that ‘Adults come to church on Sunday in order to worship [and] children come to Sunday school to acquire information.’
Children’s ministry that focuses solely on helping kids ‘learn the right things’ tends to operate on the assumption that what matters most to the life of faith is one’s ability to understand and articulate correct doctrine. In some circles a focus on the acquisition of knowledge is based on the belief that a proper theological knowledge of Christ’s crucifixion is the key to salvation. No wonder so many churches build children’s ministries that revolve around helping young people learn about Jesus’ death.
Unfortunately, when children’s ministry is based only (or largely) on these top-down assumptions and beliefs, the God-given agency, creativity, humanity and spirituality of children is undermined. Kids are seen as ‘safe’ until a certain elusive age at which time they are suddenly at risk of eternal damnation if they don’t pray the sinner’s prayer or jump through other theological hoops that are based on adult-centric views of faith. Ivy knows of some churches that develop milestones for what a child should know and understand at certain ages. These theological plumb lines determine what is taught in educational classes while children’s progress is measured through quizzes and tests. John Wall notes that ‘Moral [we can add spiritual] capability is viewed on this model as something passively received from above.’ While knowledge acquisition is definitely an important component of children’s ministry, it ought not to be the sole or even primary purpose for it.
It’s about fanning the divine flame in each child rather than blowing it out and then encouraging kids to light it again
Additionally, these views often go hand-in-hand with assumptions about salvation that involve having children cross some invisible boundary from being separated from God to being united with God through their knowledge of salvation. If children are born already in connection with God, then helping them learn theological doctrines necessary to cross the bridge from damnation to salvation seems inappropriate. It can even seem like their inherent connection to God needs to be severed in order for children to freely choose God, when in fact God has already chosen them. Children’s ministry ought to foster pre-existing connections with God. It’s about fanning the divine flame in each child rather than blowing it out and then encouraging kids to light it again.
Spiritual Formation
We believe that children’s ministry is first and foremost about spiritual formation. While it sometimes involves knowledge acquisition, spiritual formation is broader and deeper. Even though it can be buttressed by developmental theories, spiritual formation is more organic and child-honouring.
Spiritual formation affirms children as whole spiritual persons. They don’t need to learn certain things or reach a certain developmental stage to be spiritual. They are spiritual. And, like people of all ages, their spiritual lives can be formed, nurtured and shaped. Spiritual formation is based on views of children that see them as inherently spiritual beings who are already in relationship with God. The idea of spiritual formation that we have in mind doesn’t include a romanticised view of childhood that sees young children as perfect, sinless human beings who become marred by their experiences in the wider world. Nor does it hold to a view of children as little devils whose wills must be broken so they can know Christ and develop Christian values. Rather, it holds that children, like all of us, are disciples on a journey of spiritual formation.
Ellen Charry defines formation as, ‘the nurturing of the soul that includes beliefs, values, attitudes, ideals, virtues, practices and behaviour through both formal and informal means.’ Children’s ministry that focuses on spiritual formation considers the factors that form children’s spiritual lives as well as the ways in which a youngster’s life can be shaped by these factors. Formation recognises that children don’t simply passively move along a universal developmental trajectory; context, culture, family, genetic code and communities all play a role in forming children’s spiritual lives (and the spiritual lives of all people).
Moreover, spiritual formation acknowledges and respects the agency of childhood. Children are made in the image of God as creative agents who construct the world and are constructed by it, who form themselves and are formed by others. Spiritual formation moves from the perspective of adulthood to a view of growth in spirituality and faith from a child’s perspective. It respects their humanity, creativity and agency.
Young disciples
Spiritual formation, in our view, is active, holistic, authentic, healthy, life-giving and hope-filled. But the reality of formation is that it is not always these things. Children’s ministry focused on spiritual formation recognises that young people can be formed in ways that are not always positive and don’t help them to flourish. Practical theologian Joyce Ann Mercer reminds us to be aware of the ‘possibility of children being negatively formed into distorted, oppressive or otherwise problematic identities.’ Children can be malformed.
The reality of church is that we who are part of the body of Christ are imperfect. Human sinfulness may not always be a popular topic, but it is real. And it shapes our faith communities. Local churches are imperfect communities of imperfect people. And as we who are part of churches attempt to form children, we need to remember that the communities, practices and ideas through which we attempt to shape the spiritual lives of young people are flawed. Mercer writes, ‘the faith identities in which children (and adults) are formed through participation in any particular church are at best provisional and partial. They stand in need of continual renegotiation and reformulation in light of continual learning and struggle in faith.’ So we need to continually reconsider the faith and the faith communities through which we are forming young disciples.
There isn’t a cut-out of Jesus holding his hand shoulder-high with a speech bubble that reads, “You must be this high to follow me.”
John Westerhoff defines formation as ‘an intentional effort to engage in en-culturalisation, the natural process by which culture, a people’s understandings and ways of life, their world view (perceptions of reality) and their ethos (values and ways of life) are transmitted from one generation to another.’ He believes that such formation occurs through participation and practice of a community’s way of life. Christian spiritual formation, then, is about forming disciples of Jesus, people who participate in and practise the way of Jesus. It helps people more closely follow in the path that he showed to us through his words and actions, and builds this journey into the core of their identities. Following Jesus is learn to walk in the way of Jesus one step at a time. It’s about the journey, not the destination. Christians of every age are disciples, fellow pilgrims who walk the path together. Ryan Bolger and Eddie Gibbs have found that forward-thinking Christians tend to hold that the Church ‘is made up of forgiven sinners, not perfected saints, who are at various stages of a life journey of discipleship.’ Children can certainly be included in this view of church.
There are no age restrictions on the path of discipleship. There isn’t a cutout of Jesus holding his hand shoulder-high with a speech bubble that reads, ‘You must be this high to follow me.’ And there are certainly no developmental restrictions either. No one needs to fill out a standardised test before embarking on the journey of discipleship.
When Jesus called his first disciples to him, he didn’t tell them to study a book he wrote or work at getting to the next stage of development before following him. ‘As Jesus walked alongside the Galilee Sea, he saw two brothers, Simon, who is called Peter, and Andrew, throwing fishing nets into the sea, because they were fishermen. “Come, follow me,” he said, “and I’ll show you how to fish for people.”’ (Matthew 4:18-19). They left their nets behind and became apprentices to the Jesus way. They took their first steps on the journey of discipleship.
The task of children’s ministry, then, is to form young disciples, to help children build identities as followers of Jesus. It is about apprenticing children in the way of Jesus, the way of love, joy, reconciliation, peace, service, justice and mercy. It is about teaching, guiding and mentoring them about and through Jesus’ words and actions. As Rob Bell has said, ‘The rabbi thinks we can be like him.’
Formation among friends
Children’s ministry that emphasises forming disciples of Jesus is about walking alongside children on the path of discipleship, apprenticing them into the way that Jesus laid out for all of us. We who work with children are disciples just like those young people in our midst. We are formed as disciples even as we form others. Children and adults walk the path together as equals on a common journey of discipleship.
But as disciples who may be more experienced in following Jesus, we have wisdom that can be passed on to the young disciples walking with us. So, even though we are children’s equals and even though we are their friends along the journey, we can also be their guides along the path. Mike King’s insight into youth ministry is also applicable to ministry with children: ‘Youth ministry is about being with youth, not just as a role model or friend but also as a spiritual guide and a travelling companion.’
Children’s ministry can become a tale of friends on a spiritual journey. As common pilgrims along this path, adults and children have much to teach one another. One of the problems with notions of childhood that emerged during the modern era is that they saw children as passive recipients of knowledge—sponges, blank slates, white paper, wet cement. But as the modern era fades and a new, post-modern era emerges, we can see children as pilgrims on a spiritual journey, pilgrims who walk alongside adults.
The children in our lives have reminded us of the creativity, exuberance, authenticity and fear that come along with the journey. They show us what close connections to God look like. They remind us to thank God for the little things in life and that it’s ok to cry out to God in gut-wrenching lament when we are overwhelmed, afraid or saddened. As we have followed Jesus side-by-side with young disciples, our spirits have been lifted and challenged. After all, children don’t just walk along the path— they run, skip, slide, hop, play and dance as they follow in Jesus’ footsteps.
John Westerhoff said, ‘Modernity has provided us with many blessings, but it has also been detrimental to our spiritual lives. In this age of transition into a post-modern era with its new perceptions about human nature and life, it would be well for us to rethink our understandings of children so that we might nurture and nourish our spiritual lives by doing more with them and becoming more like them.’
Children’s ministry in the way of Jesus focuses on helping children become formed as disciples of Jesus. And as we seek to form children, we find ourselves formed by them in return. After all, we are all disciples in training. And we form as we are formed.
