Marriage matters: The importance of Christian parents making space for each other

A few weeks ago, headlines and social media feeds were flooded with an image of the Prince and Princess of Wales embracing as they gazed out over the beautiful landscape of the Isle of Mull. The moment marked their 14th wedding anniversary, and they chose to return to the Scottish island they had first visited back in 2003 while dating as students at St. Andrews.

Amid their official duties, much attention was given to how they were carving out time for one another. Observers noted their affectionate manner, and the implication was that this visit wasn’t just about their public roles—it was also a chance to reconnect, reflect, and invest in their relationship.

when we nurture closeness with our spouse, the ripple effects bless our home and family

Their shared photo was accompanied by a message signed simply “W & C,” along with a red heart emoji—an intimate gesture that sparked conversation. Whether viewed as a genuine expression of reconnection after a challenging season or a response to recent speculation, the message was clear: even in the busyness of life, making space for your marriage matters. And while most of us won’t celebrate anniversaries in castles or on remote Scottish islands, we can take something from their example. Every couple, royal or not, needs moments to step away, refocus, and nurture the sacred bond of marriage.

If soup be the food of love, heat it up

Abraham Joshua Heschel, the renowned Jewish theologian and philosopher, believed that love, like spirituality, is not static; it demands renewal and reinvestment. Indeed, Heschel once compared marriage to soup: “Marriage is like soup. The longer it stands, the colder it gets.”

Heschel’s metaphor was essentially a warning against complacency. When we first meet someone to whom we’re attracted, the excitement bubbles over—the initial connection is full of heat and passion. But without intentional effort, that initial warmth can begin to cool and, slowly but surely, become cold and unappetising. Heschel used soup to illustrate the importance of continual nurturing in relationships, especially spiritual and marital ones. Just as soup must be warmed up to remain enjoyable, relationships require ongoing attention, consistent effort, and continual care to stay alive and meaningful.

Let’s resist the temptation to prioritise our children, our jobs, or our ministries over our spouse

A healthy marriage, like a healthy spiritual life, requires regular attention, intentional care, open communication, and abundant grace. As life changes and challenges arise, our relationships need to be tended in order to stay strong. Proverbs 24:3–4 reminds us: “By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled…” A marriage, like a house, must be built—and wisdom, understanding, and knowledge are all key elements to its construction. Time spent together can help us reconnect and rebuild what everyday life wears down.

Marriage in scripture

While the Bible doesn’t explicitly reference couples spending time together to keep love alive, Genesis has much to say about the marriage relationship. We’re told it was “not good for the man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18), so God created marriage as a gift—for the mutual blessing of both man and woman. Genesis also talks of the man leaving his father and mother and being united to his wife, becoming “one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). The essence of marriage is unity—becoming one. Scripture offers cautionary tales where a lack of unity within marriage—such as between Abraham and Sarah, or Isaac and Rebekah—leads to painful and far-reaching consequences. Then there’s David and Michal’s relationship, which was once marked by deep love (1 Samuel 18:20), yet became distant and barren, both emotionally and literally, with Michal remaining childless. Like all relationships, marriage requires effort; without work, it can grow stale.

The need for quality time

Only in recent years have my husband and I started to prioritise time together—just the two of us. Last year, that meant four blissful days in Malta. However, that quality time doesn’t happen without help; it requires the generous support of family and friends to step in so we can step away from parenting for a while. But we always come back feeling reconnected, rejuvenated—and with our metaphorical marriage soup thoroughly reheated.

let us honour and invest in our marriages—so that they might reflect the glory of true royalty: the King of Kings

Of course, quality time doesn’t always mean jetting off abroad (if only!). More often, it’s about finding pockets of time amid the chaos of kids’ schedules and the availability of babysitters. Just last week, we found ourselves with a free morning, so we took a drive to a little island on Strangford Lough. We sat in the sun with a coffee (a rare treat in Northern Ireland!) and just enjoyed the stillness. Like W & C, we had a shared connection to that island—it’s where we enjoyed many dates in the early days of our relationship. We’re nostalgic for that region because our visits bring those memories and feelings flooding back. For that reason, we take ourselves back there whenever we can.

I know all too well that there are seasons in life when it’s easier to carve out time for each other. When our children were younger and bedtime routines were earlier (and adhered to), we often had quiet evenings to talk and connect before tiredness took over. These days, with teenagers in the house, uninterrupted time is far less predictable. We now take whatever moments we can, whenever and however they come, and make the most of them.

When we walk closely with God, that intimacy permeates other aspects of our lives. And when we nurture closeness with our spouse, the ripple effects bless our home and family. In the rush and noise of modern life, may we not lose sight of the sacred gift of marriage that God has entrusted to us. Let’s resist the temptation to prioritise our children, our jobs, or our ministries over our spouse. Instead, let us honour and invest in our marriages—so that they might reflect the glory of true royalty: the King of Kings.