Answering your child’s questions: Why should I say sorry?

When did “sorry” stop meaning “sorry”? And… what does this mean for how we approach the topics of sin and repentance with our youth and children?

”I ate the last slice of pizza. Sorry not sorry.”

“Yeah, I had my music up all the way. Sorry not sorry — it’s a great playlist!”

When was the last time you found yourself saying—or hearing—something like this?

These phrases have become part of our cultural script. They reflect a subtle but profound shift: we might recognise that our actions inconvenience or hurt others, but we shrug it off in the name of authenticity. The implied message is: as long as I’m being true to myself, it’s okay. In today’s culture, the highest good is not necessarily traditional virtues like kindness, truth, or humility—it’s self-expression. “You do you,” has become the mantra we live by.

This shift is best illustrated with two books, written a thousand years apart. We are about to get a little nerdy… sorry not sorry.