How do you talk to your teen about their appearance?

For teen girls especially, growing older can come with feelings of insecurity about looks, and a desire to experiment with all the latest products for enhancing hair and make-up.

As the Bible tells us, God is more concerned with our inward appearance, (1 Samuel 16-7) but how can we get that message across to our daughters?

We are all created in God’s image, made with such care and attention that every hair on our head is numbered (Matthew 10.30). As children of God, we are adored, and when our identity is in Christ it frees us of needing to seek approval from elsewhere in the world. One extreme example of this is Ollie London, an internet influencer who was trans and identified as Korean, having hundreds of surgeries to change his appearance. When he became a Christian he detransitioned and came to peace with himself.

It’s natural to want to look good, and be presentable to the world, but when we see our child caring a bit too much about what the world thinks, I think it can be interpreted as a kind of blessing, showing us that they need help, to return to connection with us and God.

So many negative feelings often come from a sense of hurt and upset that might not even be related to the situation where upset is being expressed. So when a child wants to straighten their wavy hair, or curl their straight hair, their hair is not the real issue.