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BACKGROUND PREPARATION
Have a look through the reflection ideas and think about how they will work best with your space and group, before gathering the materials for each one.
RITUAL: Dessert
CELEBRITY LABEL LOVE
10 mins
This is a variation on a youth group classic. Stick a label to each young person’s forehead - on the label should be one half of a celebrity couple (e.g. Victoria / David Beckham, Kim Kardashian / Kanye West, The Queen / Prince Philip, Marge / Homer Simpson). By asking each other only yes or no questions, the young people must figure out who they are. Once they have figured out their identity, they must find their celebrity couple counterpart. The first couple to figure out who they are and unite with their other half wins.
REFLECTION ACTIVITIES
40 mins
The aim of this session is to give the young people space to reflect on all they have experienced, learnt and articulated over the last three weeks. Launch the reflection time with the whole group together. Reflections two to four can be done on a rotation basis. Set them up around the room before separating the group into three groups and sending them off with five to ten minutes at each reflective activity. For reflection five bring them back together to round out the time. Set up each activity with instructions on what to do, and what to reflect on printed out.
At each of the stations have a bowl of playdough. Once the young people have finished at that station they should take a small amount of playdough from the bowl and keep it with them as they move on. These pieces of playdough will be central to the final meditation. Think about how you can make the space good for reflection; clear the clutter, possibly play some quiet worship music and think about lighting.
REFLECTION ONE: GOOD AND HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS TAKE SKILLS
Show the video from the Youthwork website of a couple who have been married for a long time speaking about their relationship. Encourage the group to think about what skills and attitudes the couple have needed to stay together for such a long time.
REFLECTION TWO: GOD MADE US FOR RELATIONSHIPs
Provide the material needed to make a paper chain. As the group make it, encourage them to write ideas about what skills keep relationships together on the joins between the links. Encourage them to think about what skills make a relationship last and which skills they would like to use in their relationships.
REFLECTION THREE: MY PERSPECTIVES WILL DEVELOP
Type up all the questions from the first week and have them available. Prepare a large sheet of paper to stick them on to with one column headed ‘my perspective on this has changed’ and another headed ‘my perspective on this has stayed the same.’ The group should, as individuals, take a question, and think about whether or not their perspective has changed. What difference has this made to them?
REFLECTION FOUR: IT’S GOOD TO REFLECT ON OUR IDEAS ABOUT SEX
Prepare two graffiti walls, headed ‘I thought sex was…’ and the other headed ‘I know sex is…’ Provide pens and paper and give them a few minutes to write up anything that comes to mind for either.
REFLECTION FIVE : GOD HAS GOOD PLANS FOR MY FUTURE RELATIONSHIPS
This is a guided meditation using the playdough collected after each meditation so far.
Say: we’ve collected different bits of playdough at each stage so far - these symbolise the different ideas, experiences and perspectives we’ve collected over the last four weeks. As you hold this playdough, hold these different ideas in your head. Using the playdough, begin to shape it to reflect how you felt when we started this conversation together four weeks ago. Think back to what you thought sex was then; what you felt the media has to say about sex; what you felt your friends had to say about sex.
As we move forward through the weeks, begin to reshape the playdough to reflect what it felt like to hear that sex is powerful, joining things together. Perhaps you felt inspired. Perhaps you felt unsure. Perhaps you felt upset that you were only hearing this now. Start to reshape your playdough to reflect the relationships in your life. As you look at the shape of these relationships to you, reflect on what you would like God to change in your life to make those relationships more healthy.
Finally, the Bible talks about new beginnings. As I read these Bible verses over you, start to reshape your playdough to reflect what you want God to change in your future after thinking through these issues: ‘Forget about what’s happened; don’t keep going over old history. Be alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand-new. It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it? There it is! I’m making a road through the desert, rivers in the badlands.’
As we end this time of meditation, roll your playdough back into a ball as a recognition that we hand over our relationships and our futures to God and his creativity. We recognise his role in shaping us, our relationships and our futures. We place our playdough in the middle of the room, recognising that we place ourselves into his hands once more.
TAKE AWAY QUESTION
What conversations do you still need to have to work towards good sex?
KEY POINT #1
Be pastorally aware - some members of your group may have already had sexual experiences either through their own decision or as a result of abuse. The material covered over the past three weeks and the reflection space could press some emotional and spiritual buttons. Ensure you have prepared your leaders to engage sensitively with anything that is shared, and keep an eye out for what is happening within the group.
KEY POINT #2
Keep the conversation going. While this represents the last of these sessions, this is just the start of the conversations about sex and relationships in your youth group. You’ve laid a great foundation of openness, respect and knowledge over the four weeks. But as the session ends it’s really important to maintain the sense that the conversation is ongoing.
