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I’ve not made a big deal of being his ‘mentor’ because, at this stage, I feel he’s more of a friend and I don’t want to patronise him – but he still asks me to speak into his life and mentor him whenever we can get time together in one way or another.

Not only that, but he really cares about me personally - and had thought of some insightful and relevant questions to ask me, to help me process my life and certain things going on! It was actually a really helpful chat and I came away massively blessed with new clarity about a few things. During our walk, I asked him what he thought young people like him needed and looked for in a mentor. We identified that while someone can be a ‘good mentor’ (ie. they can ask clever or insightful questions) actually the magic ingredient, or raw material, is the mentor’s heart itself. Rather than lots of guidance, coaching or help prioritising goals and values, more than anything young people want to catch what you have: your passions, your wisdom, your experience, your charisma in your faith, your anointing.

 

Get Practical

Swap roles! Ask your mentee why they wanted to be mentored by you in the first place. Then ask them to mentor you for a few minutes or for the session. The idea being that by probing around in your motivations, hopes, disappointments, struggles and dreams, they may find more riches than if you poke around in theirs.

This may feel a little awkward to begin with (you could even plan a few questions for them to ask you to get you started) but go for it. This also starts to teach them how to mentor others.

 

Icebreaker of the month

If you were a scorpion, whose shoe would you crawl into?!

 

Question of the month

If you were the Prime Minister, how would you stop ISIS growing?

 

Foolproof Question of the month

What are you praying most about at the moment?

 

Quote of the month

‘The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now!’ Anon

Joel Toombs has an MA in Christian mentoring and has written the Grove booklet Mentoring and young people. He is a mentor in the music industry and a youth worker.